Page 31 of Not Ready

“You don’t know how happy that makes me.” He chuckles, pulling me forward with his hand on the back of my head. My heart races as he nuzzles his nose to mine. His coarse beard scratches against my skin as our lips barely brush. My hand falls to his side under his arm, and our eyes meet—his have little crinkles around the edges. But I’ve always known that he’s a few years older than I am. Okay, maybe closer to ten or fifteen years, but that doesn’t bother me in the least. His smoky campfire scent makes my stomach flutter. “You really are absolutely gorgeous.”

My eyes squeeze closed.

God, he’s so sincere.

I want to believe him, but I’m also as big as a house.

My emotions are all over the place.

His tongue teases my lips as he scoots closer to my front.

My eyes pop open at the same time my mouth does. He’s been holding his head up on his palm, but he moves that hand to cradle my head and slides the other down to my ass.

I usually don’t keep my eyes open during a kiss, and it’s a little hard to see all the details of his face, but the low growl that rattles out of his chest makes my heart race.

He’s so incredibly handsome.

And he’s a scent match.

He’s protective and calm in a crisis.

And I’m a hot mess most of the time.

I’m really not sure I deserve him, but I do want him. His fingers tease through my hair, and it makes my insides feel melty. His beard scrapes against my cheek as I shimmy closer.

He chuckles, pulling back, but I do my best to follow.

Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot of room left for my lungs these days. I end up gasping for air, which is kind of mortifying.

“Let me court you for real, gorgeous. Please?” His blue eyes stare straight into mine.

“Are you sure you won’t regret it? My life is about to change in a big way.” My teeth dig into my lower lip.

He moves to tug it free. “I’m positive. I’m not some twenty-year-old kid with no idea what I want out of the future. I’ve been invested in you since the very beginning. Why do you think I subtly changed the direction of our relationship? Two years ago, we took a contract to check on the legitimacy of the Slick website. It was one of the few specifically featuring omegas. The job was to determine if the performers were there of your own free will or…” He pauses, like he doesn’t want to say the words, but I get what he’s saying. “Yes, I watched your shows and quite enjoyed them, but I was more drawn to you for the long haul. It just took a little time to get you to trust me enough to open up the private tiers.”

“Yeah,” I whisper a little breathlessly.

I’ve spent so many hours wondering and obsessing about exactly this. It’s always felt like we have some deep connection, but Kate reminded me a million times that some men are extremely good actors.

Other women from work brought up the fact that kinks are expansive. He could’ve been one of those people who enjoys interacting with the wall of the computer between us. Pushing for an in-person meeting, even before I got pregnant, was risky, and not only because it could have gotten us both barred from the site.

“Once we had the ability to talk and do video calls…” He grimaces a little. “That’s when I really started falling for you. It was the little things, like how you’d always notice when I cut my beard and heckle me about having a baby face.”

He’s right.

I absolutely did. It’s the one part of him that I’ve gotten to see regularly, and I’m very fond of it.

It was jarring seeing him clean-shaven. It threw me for a loop, and before I could stop myself, I was joking about needing to take a break from video until it grew back.

“Or the way you always asked about my day and accepted the vague answers I had to give because of location security. It’s just you. And now that we’re face-to-face, I want to get to know you past surface level.” He kisses my nose. “Let me court you.”

“Okay, how would that work with the whole thing you mentioned earlier?”

“Mercy, Holt, and I will file for the license to form an official pack. We could do a small wedding or commitment ceremony if you’d like, but honestly, it’s legal as soon as the pack paperwork is approved—ceremony or not. I’d also like to save that for us one day. I only want to do a ceremony once.”

My stomach flutters wildly. The idea of building a life with him is pretty much what my dreams are made of.

“Then, once Mercer gets his inheritance, they’ll what? Ask for the dissolution paperwork?” That makes me a little uncomfortable, but I do want to help Mercer access his inheritance. Especially knowing Bishop and I originally met because they were trying to secure the safety of other omegas.

---