Page 15 of Not Ready

“Thank you,” I whisper, staring up into his deep blue eyes. “I really am sorry for the confusion…”

“I haven’t given up hope just yet. Give it some thought.” Mercer pulls me up and releases my hand. “And please, don’t forget to get me the information on your roommate.”

“I won’t,” I say as Bishop comes to a stop a few feet away. He’s even more substantially sized than I could tell from our video chats. I was right. He does have cornflower blue eyes. I’ve only ever caught rare glimpses of them during our calls.

I raise a hand, giving a little wave.

Bishop gently grips my arm, pulling me into his strong frame. “Do you know how fucking worried I’ve been? Goddamn, I think I gave myself an ulcer. The eight-hour drive took under four.”

My lip quivers as he wraps a muscled forearm around my head. “I-I…” I shake my head because the words won’t come. I ache to tell him how much I’ve wanted to see him. How worried I’ve been, and that he’s always felt like my safe place.

He smells like a smoky campfire or that smell you get when you light a real wood fireplace. He’s so incredibly tall that my face wallows around his chest.

“I feel like I’ve waited an eternity to get my arms around you.” He bends down, nuzzling the top of his head to mine as his other hand works between us. “How’s she doing?”

It’s so like him to worry, not just about me, but the baby that isn’t even his. The overwhelming guilt I experienced when I had to tell him I was pregnant comes back in full force all over again.

Kate and even women I work with at the club have lectured me until they’re blue in the face that I never cheated on him, because we have no relationship.

He was a customer on Slick.

Nothing more.

Yeah, we talked daily, but it wasn’t like we were dating.

I still haven’t been able to shake the discomfort. It feels like I betrayed him in some way, and then he was the one to cheer me up when Aurora’s dad royally disappeared on me.

I wanted something real, like an in-person relationship where we could snuggle, or even if it was long distance, I wanted a label.

Maybe I was a little tired of everyone telling me how pathetic it was to pine away after a cam client. I just wanted to know where I stood with someone, but that blew up in my face so epically…

Bishop feels like my emotional partner in all things, but I have no idea how he views our relationship or lack thereof.

It’s twisted and complicated.

My quivery lip turns full-blown wobbly, and a sob escapes. The way my stomach rolls with anxiety, and maybe a smidgen of shame, is a severe reaction.

On some level, I get that it’s irrational because we don’t have any labels or exclusivity, but if my heart feels guilty, then chances are, I did something wrong, no matter what anyone else has to say about it.

“Oh no,” Bishop says. “Can’t do it. No tears, gorgeous.” He wedges a knee between mine and wraps an arm around my ass.

I’m nearly thirty-five pounds heavier than I was when I started this pregnancy adventure, but he lifts me with ease. My swollen stomach presses against his, making my cheeks heat.

I’m a disaster.

It’s not going to take him very long to be sorry he brought me here.

If he already isn’t.

He stomps over to the couch, putting himself down on the edge and bringing me to rest in his lap. He keeps a hand on my back and palms my head. “I’m so relieved you made it. I had no idea where you were coming from or if you’d even show up.”

“They banned my access on Slick. I haven’t called the club, and I’m late for my shift. I’m pretty sure I’m fired from both places, as of today.” It all rattles out with a frantic sob. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Fuck that. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.” Bishop kisses my forehead, and it makes my entire body tingle. He’s not classically handsome. His nose is crooked, like it’s been broken more than once, and his jaw is a little too rugged, but there’s something about the whole gruff package that I’m wildly attracted to.

I’m genuinely fond of who he is on the inside. The exterior is just a bonus, anyway, but it is a relief, and I can’t help but hope he’s attracted to me too.

“Can you give me your roommate’s name and your address?” Mercer asks, reminding me that he’s here. “I’d like to take care of that immediately.”

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