Page 59 of Where the River Meets the Skye

“Hey, Skye?” River said as they lay in bed a few nights later, after enjoying their gift from Anna.

“Hmm?” Skye asked. His eyes went wide when River sat up and straddled him.

“Holy shit,” he said, gripping River’s hips. He didn’t even try to keep the surprise out of his voice.

River smiled. “I had fun with you tonight.” He rested his hands on Skye’s chest, and looked into his eyes.

“Yeah,” Skye said, in barely a whisper. He swallowed. “Me too, Riv.”

River reached up and brushed his fingers through the blond waves falling over Skye’s forehead. Tears sprang to his eyes. “Remember when we were in college and you told me that I still got to choose who I give myself to?”

Skye nodded. “Yeah.” He reached up to wipe away River’s tears, but realized his own eyes were starting to water now, too. River’s eyes met his.

“I choose you, Skye,” he said. He lowered himself onto his husband, their bodies flush, and kissed his neck, and then his jaw, tears still falling, mingling with Skye’s. “I choose you,” he said again. “Make love to me.”

“Are you sure?” Skye asked. And River nodded.

“What about your tailbone? Will it hurt?”

“I don’t know. But I would like to try.”

But when River was under Skye a few moments later, his husband pushing inside him for the first time, his heart rate started to spike, and it wasn’t for the reason he would have liked. And neither was the sweat that was beading his forehead. He couldn’t breathe, and he started to shake as Skye pressed further inside him.

“Skye, stop,” he said, barely choking the words out, shame washing over him, tears spilling down his cheeks. He hated this. Everything had gone so well for them so far, and he didn’t want to be afraid of his husband. But he was having a full blown anxiety attack right now, in the middle of sex, and he knew it.

“River? What’s wrong?” Skye asked. “Shit, did I hurt you?”

River shook his head. “Please get off,” he said, hating himself even more, the tears falling even harder now. He wanted to curl up in a ball and pretend none of this was happening. That he wasn’t asking his husband to pull out of him when he’d finally decided he wanted to try and bottom for the first time. He’d felt so ready. He’d wanted this, needed it, even. Skye inside him. Wanted to feel this closeness and connection to his husband, but as soon as Skye’s cock pushed inside him it was like he wasn’t in control anymore, his memories were. And instead of being in bed with the man he loved, sharing the sweet, beautiful connection that he’d craved, he was back in that dark alleyway, pressed up against a rough, brick wall, gagged, hands clasping his wrists and pinning him in place even as he struggled, and cried out, sobbing as he heard those familiar voices, the taunts, the laughter, felt his pants being unbuttoned and tugged down, the humid air against his bare skin, knowing he couldn’t stop what they were about to do to him.

Cold fingers pressing against his hole, making him sob and shake his head. A rough hand gripping his cock, making him squirm. Bile rising up his throat.

We’re going to make you feel good, righteous boy. You’ll thank us later.

“Okay.” Skye slid out of River as quickly and gently as he could, and laid down next to him. “You’re okay,” he said, rubbing his hand up and down River’s arm. “You’re safe.”

We’re doing you a favor.

River was trying to breathe, his body still shaking, tears still falling as Skye scooted closer and held him close.

Fuck, you feel that, righteous boy? You feel yourself getting fucked? Feels good, doesn’t it? I’m gonna make you come. Right after I come inside you.

“Was it a flashback?” Skye asked.

My turn. Hold him down.

Fuck, he’s hard.

Knew you would like it, virgin boy.

Not a virgin anymore.

Laughter.

River nodded. “I’m sorry, Skye. I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, River,” Skye cooed, “don’t apologize.” He kissed the top of River’s head as he held him close, and River clung to him.

“I can still feel them, Skye,” River sobbed. “They were laughing. I can still hear them whispering in my ear. I can still feel them pressed up against me, holding me down, their weight on me. I can feel them inside me, their breath on my skin, the way they smelled.” River shook as he continued to sob.

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