Page 78 of Where the River Meets the Skye

“I’m so sorry. What’s going on? Is it River?”

“I mean, yeah, it’s River. But it’s me, Mom. It’s just me. I’m falling apart. I’m stressed, and exhausted.”

“You sound overwhelmed, Skye,” Grace said, concern in her voice. “My poor baby.”

“Yeah,” Skye admitted, wiping more tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom. I don’t mean to call you just to cry and complain.”

“Yes you do,” Grace said softly once again. “And that’s okay, Skye. That’s more than okay. That’s what I’m here for. It’s okay for you not to be okay. And I want you to call me when that’s happening. You're my son, and I love you. And it breaks my heart to see you hurting so much. There’s nothing wrong with tears, baby.”

Skye was sobbing now, his head resting against the steering wheel.

“It’s okay,” Grace said. “It’s okay, Skye. I’m here. I’m here. And I love you. And you love River so much. I know. That’s what love is. When your partner is going through hell, and you walk right through the flames with them.”

“Mom, I just don’t know what to do,” he choked out. “We are doing a bit better financially, but things are still tough and I’m worried I might have to go back to work at the shop, and I just don’t think I can. I’m so fucking exhausted.”

“I know,” Grace said. “Skye, I’ve been thinking about you guys a lot, actually, and how I might be able to help. And the truth is, I don’t feel like there really is much I can do from Kansas.”

“I know, Mom.”

“So, I was thinking I should move out there.”

Skye’s heart stopped. “What?” he asked, picking his head up off of the steering wheel.

“I miss my boys, Skye. I have ever since Jaden went away to college. And if I can be near you and River and help you out, I’d really like to do that. Mind you, I’m not much of a cook, but I could help out with groceries, and laundry, and dishes, and cleaning, and just being there. And I’d really like to do that. And just being able to see you guys on a regular basis would be wonderful.”

Skye’s heart was pounding. “Are you serious?”

“Very,” Grace said, a hint of a smile in her voice.

“But, what about the beer company? I mean, you started that with Dad. That’s everything to you.”

“No, Skye, you are everything to me.”

Skye was crying all over again.

“I have a friend who’s going to take things over for me. I’ll still own it but I don’t have to be here all the time. It’ll take me a month or so to get things in order but then I can be closer to you guys and be helping out. Does that sound okay?”

Skye was speechless for a minute. He closed his eyes tightly as tears continued to fall.

“Skye?” Grace asked. “Are you there?”

“Yeah, Mom, I’m here. That, uh, that sounds amazing. Really. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure, Skye.”

River

I see your pain, and it’s big. I also see your courage. And it’s bigger. ~Glennon Doyle

You’ll always be the bravest and best person I know.

Love you, angel. XOXO

River smiled despite his pain and exhaustion. A year later Skye was still leaving him these encouraging notes and Bible verses. This one was on the coffee pot.

He made his coffee and carried it back to bed where he sat propped up on his wedge that Skye had gotten for him all those years ago when he’d first started having tailbone pain. The beginnings of his journey with chronic pain and illness. Who knew then that it would last this long? He felt like he should be grateful really, that it wasn’t life threatening. He didn’t have cancer. He wasn’t dying. But even though it wasn’t life threatening, it was still life altering. It changed things, big time, for him and for Skye. And the hardest part was never knowing if he would get better or not. Still not having a diagnosis. Still not having answers.

Skye

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