Page 73 of Where the River Meets the Skye

“My biggest advice, Skye, though it may be hard for you, would be to pray for your husband. It really is the most powerful weapon we have against everything we face on this earth. Jesus doesn’t take any of our hardships lightly. He is so familiar with rejection, suffering and sorrow, you can trust that he will not abandon you in yours. But taking action is important too. In that respect, I would encourage you to remind River of God’s promises, of what Scripture says. And if you aren’t familiar with them, then it might be time to brush up on some Scripture yourself. Make some note cards with Bible verses on them that you can put up around the house for River to see. Or even just some encouraging quotes. Do you think that would help?”

“Maybe,” Skye said. “It’s worth a shot I guess.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” Pastor Phillips asked genuinely, arms resting on his desk, his hands folded together in front of him.

Skye hesitated for a moment, biting his lip, and then said, “Um, actually, yeah. Sorry if this is TMI, but we’re kind of struggling in the sexual intimacy department, and I know you aren’t a therapist, but if you have any tips on how to get us to be more connected we could use some help. It’s not that we don’t want to have sex, but River’s so sick and in so much pain all the time it makes it difficult, and it’s making things hard for us both. I think we need to find other ways to connect, and we’ve kind of lost sight of how to do that with everything going on.”

“I can only imagine that’s been a source of frustration and grief for both of you,” Pastor Phillips said. “And you don’t have to be embarrassed about mentioning it. I talk with couples about that kind of thing more than you’d probably think.” He smiled softly. “Sex and intimacy is an important aspect of marriage. And when one of you is chronically ill and the other is working two jobs just to pay the bills, that puts a lot of stress and strain on something that’s already got its fair share of complications. I have no doubt though that you and River love each other, and that’s what is important. You both want what is best for the other person. Even if you can’t have sex as much as you would like, there are things you can do to maintain intimacy with each other, even from a distance, when you are at work and he’s at home and you can’t be together. Like leaving those notes for him. Maybe you want to make some of them more flirtatious and sensual. Or maybe you guys can text each other throughout the day and be playful in that sense. Try to make it fun. Buy each other some playful or silly gifts, either things that turn you on or make you laugh. Intimacy doesn’t have to be just about sex. Intimacy can be laughing together, or having a good conversation. It can be about just enjoying each other, too and having fun. Maybe he can’t have sex but he can do something less involved, like a game that gets you two close or maybe instead of penetrative sex if that’s too much for him you stick to something simpler. Maybe you want to find funny videos to share with each other to make each other laugh. Whatever gets you two stealing those special moments with each other. Because let's face it, life does suck a lot of the time, but if we hold on to those rare moments it can make it all worthwhile.”

Skye gave him a soft smile. “Thank you,” he said. “You’ve given me some things to think about.”

“I’m glad you came in, Skye. We all need help sometimes. And our doors are always open. Please let us know if you would like to take us up on the counseling, and my secretary will be in touch with you about the meals.”

Skye stood and shook the Pastor’s hand.

“I sincerely hope that you find answers, and if not, that you at least find strength and encouragement. We’re here for you.”

“Thank you,” Skye said. And for the first time in a long time, he did have a little bit of hope.

River

River was overwhelmed when Skye told him about the visit he’d made to the church. He knew it took a lot for his husband to admit when he needed help. They were both like that, and River was proud of him for accepting the pastor’s offer. Especially since it would give them more time together in the evenings and hopefully make Skye less exhausted.

And when he started seeing the note cards that Skye left up throughout the house, his spirits began to lift as well. Partly because of the Bible verses themselves, but honestly more because it was Skye who was taking the time to write them down and put them on his pillow, or on the coffee maker, or even on the toilet seat. Somewhere he knew River would see them. And River found himself looking forward to it every day.

Today when River found it, it was on the bathroom mirror.

Psalm 73:26

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Love you, angel. Can’t wait to kiss you when I get home.

River smiled. He loved his husband so much. Members of his old church had been bringing them meals for a few weeks now, and it had been amazing. Skye had committed to using the time when he wasn’t cooking to just cuddle up with River in bed and not do any school work either. It was short, but it was their time together, and they cherished it.

He had decided to take the church up on their offer of free counseling. He didn’t have any excuse not to, and he hadn’t been able to see his regular therapist because of their financial struggles.

Talking with the therapist was helping him process his pain and grief, and loneliness, and giving him ideas of how to socialize even from home. He’d connected with groups through social media, and met other people who dealt with chronic pain, and it had helped him feel like he wasn’t alone, and even given him people to connect with and talk to during the day. They shared some about their illnesses but mostly they talked about their families, their hobbies, recipes, books, or tv shows they enjoyed, and it was wonderful to have connections with people who understood what he was going through. His counselor had recommended some books that had helped as well. Nothing was a permanent fix, and he still fell into bouts of depression and discouragement, but he was having more decent days, and fewer miserable ones.

As he closed his laptop after finishing with his counseling session, he heard his phone go off, signaling a text message, and he smiled when he saw that it was from Skye. His husband had been texting him more lately and it was really starting to make a difference in his mood as well. They had both been so depressed and exhausted for the last couple of years that it had taken a toll on their relationship, but things had improved since Skye’s visit to the church, and River wondered what the pastor had said to him. They’d been flirting a lot more, bantering back and forth, tossing around more euphemisms and using a lot more sexual innuendo in their conversations, and it was fun. Really fun. River had lost sight of how much he enjoyed just being Skye’s husband, and his friend, and it was like they were getting a piece of that back again, instead of focusing on everything that made life hard right now, and it made River smile.

Sometimes he’d get a funny joke from Skye, and sometimes it would be more sexual in nature. Either way, he enjoyed it. The messages Skye left around the house were the same. Which always had River waiting in anticipation, never knowing what he was going to wake up to, and honestly, it was arousing. But more than that it made him feel wanted, and loved.

He would do his best to respond to Skye’s text with something equally as humorous or erotic in nature, depending on what Skye sent to him. And more and more often in the last few weeks, their evening cuddle sessions would turn into them making out and giving each other hand jobs with the television on in the background.

River smiled and blushed when he read Skye’s message.

Can’t stop thinking about you, angel. Some parts more than others. Wink emoji

River typed out a reply and hit send. Can’t wait to feel that big strong hand on my cock, baby. Miss you. It was only a few seconds later that River got Skye’s response and it was the best one ever.

Great. I guess I’ll be teaching the next class from behind my desk. Jerk.

River chuckled. Do you have a situation?

Oh yes, a pretty good sized situation thanks to you.

You started it. Smile emoji

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