Page 37 of Where the River Meets the Skye

When Skye stepped further into the room and pulled River into a hug, his friend melted against him. And when Skye pulled away and pushed his own loaded suitcase towards the bed, River just blinked, bewildered.

“What’s that?” he asked, sniffling and wiping tears from his cheeks.

“My suitcase,” Skye told him, sitting down on the foot of the bed, sideways.

River stared at him and sat partially on the bed beside Skye, his leg tucked under him and his other foot on the floor. “Your what?” He looked from Skye to the suitcase and then back again, as if needing proof that they were actually a package deal, and that Skye wasn’t pulling his leg.

“My suitcase,” Skye repeated, with a slight chuckle at River’s reaction. “I can’t let you go on this trip alone, Riv. You’re my best friend. I know how close you were to Jodi. And she meant something to me, too. I want to be there, for you and for her.”

River’s lips were on his. River’s lips were on his. And his hands were on Skye’s face. Holy fucking shit. His brain was short circuiting. River was kissing him. Hard. And it took the breath out of him. He sucked air in through his nose and grunted. His eyes were still open. He was stunned. River’s thick, beautiful, perfect lips were on his. He wanted to kiss River back, to close his eyes and take this incredible moment in, but he was too slow, too slow to respond. And he didn’t know where to put his hands, and he was caught so off guard.

As soon as he closed his eyes, River’s hands were gone, and his lips were gone, and the heat from his body being so very close to Skye’s was gone. The perfect, beautiful moment Skye had envisioned in his head for months, for years, was gone. And when he opened his eyes again, River was standing several feet away, his eyes wide, breathing heavily. He looked absolutely terrified.

“I…I didn’t.” His voice trembled. “I’m sorry,” he said, then walked past Skye and out of the room.

River

River couldn't get out of the condo fast enough. He threw his coat and shoes on and headed out the front door before Skye had a chance to come after him. He didn’t know where he was going but he didn’t care. He just started walking.

It was bone chillingly cold, especially without his scarf and gloves, or a hat, all of which he’d forgotten in his haste to leave, but at least that made it easier to think. And what exactly had he been thinking when he’d kissed Skye just now?

I love you. That’s what he’d been thinking when he grabbed Skye’s cheeks and pressed his lips to his. I love you. He’d always loved Skye. But this, this feeling that has been stirring inside of him for the past few months, that made him want to touch Skye, and look at Skye, and be with Skye, and have Skye close to him, that feeling that made his stomach do those weird somersaults, that had his heart beating a little faster when Skye did those super sweet things for him, was a different kind of love than what he’d felt for Skye most of his life.

Your heart belongs to someone else, River.

He stopped walking as his breath caught in his throat and the cold air bit at his skin. She knew. Anna knew this whole time how River felt for Skye. That’s why she had broken up with him. But that thought terrified River. What if Skye didn’t feel the same way about him? He could have just ruined a life-long friendship with one stupid kiss. God, what was he thinking? There were so many things that could go wrong with this. He knew Skye found him attractive, but that wasn’t the same as being in love with him. Even if he did reciprocate River’s feelings, he knew Skye’s penchant for sex, and he didn’t know how he was going to navigate a sexual relationship with another man, even if he did love him and find him attractive.

Even with Anna, and the level of intimacy they had shared, River rarely got an erection. And they had never had sex. But sex with a man was a whole new concept for him, one that he had never really considered, because he didn’t think it was even in the realm of possibility. He was only ever interested in girls, until now.

And maybe that’s why he’d resisted kissing Skye and touching him, and looking at him in the ways that he truly wanted to for as long as he had. Because underneath it all, he was scared that he couldn’t give Skye the sexual intimacy he knew his friend needed and deserved.

River hardly ever cursed but this seemed like an appropriate moment for it. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself, rubbing his hands over his face. I’m bisexual, or gay, I don’t know. Bisexual, I think. I mean, I still find girls attractive. Whatever I am, I'm definitely not straight. I’m in love with Skye. I'm in love with my best friend.

His ears, nose, and fingers were turning numb now, and as much as he hated the idea of facing Skye, he knew he couldn’t avoid him forever, so he turned and started making his way back home.

They had a lot to talk about.

CHAPTER 15

Skye

“River?” Skye called when he heard the front door open and close, then footsteps a moment later. He’d been pacing back and forth for what seemed like an eternity waiting for his roommate to come home, and to say he was freaking out was an understatement.

His palms were sweaty, his heart was racing, and he’d been pausing every once in a while to try and take deep breaths. He didn’t think he’d ever been more nervous or panicky in his life. And it wasn’t because River had kissed him. That part had been fucking amazing. But he had no idea what was going to happen now. Would River want to pretend it never happened? Would he be so freaked out he’d want to leave for good? Would he chalk it up to being exhausted and emotional? Would this ruin their friendship? God, he couldn’t stand the thought of losing River.

He swallowed nervously as River shuffled into the room, hands shoved in his pockets, his gaze not meeting Skye’s. “Where were you?” Skye asked.

“Just walking.” He murmured it so softly Skye could barely hear him. He still didn’t make eye contact.

Skye sifted his fingers through his hair. “Can we talk?”

River wrapped his arms around himself and nodded. Skye saw him swallow and it was clear as day how anxious he was over the situation. God, Skye hoped he didn’t regret it.

“Skye, I…” River started quietly, but didn't finish. He was trembling slightly as he finally made eye contact with Skye and a single tear slid down his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

Skye stepped closer immediately so River didn’t have the chance to spiral because of this. He wouldn't let him think that that kiss was anything but perfect and beautiful and the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“Hey, none of that,” he said, gripping River’s face ever so gently in his hands. “It’s okay, angel.” He wiped the tear away with his thumb and smiled.

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