“Come on, Riv, they want to see both of us. We’re not going to leave you here alone. We’ll just explain what’s going on and see if they can come here instead of meeting at Jenna’s.”

River handed Skye his phone back but hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” Skye asked, fingers poised on his keypad.

“I don’t know if I want to announce that my butt is bothering me. It sounds ridiculous for one thing, and it’s embarrassing for another.”

“Well what do you want to do? Lie to them?”

“No,” he grumbled. “Why don’t we just tell them I’m not up for going out?”

“Of course you can, if that’s what you want. But don’t you think they’ll wonder what’s going on eventually if you are never sitting when they are around or coming up with excuses for not being able to go anywhere? Do you plan to avoid them forever?”

River let out a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “God, this is so frustrating.”

“Look, I’ll tell them,” Skye said. He typed a message in the group chat and showed it to River.

Hey, so remember when River had his accident? When they did the x-rays they found that his tailbone was dislocated. Sounds kind of crazy and it wasn’t bothering him at the time but now it’s acting up and he’s been in a lot of pain, especially when he sits, so any chance we can hang out here to avoid a car ride? He might need to lie down or stand for the majority of the evening

“Can I send it?” he asked. River nodded reluctantly, so he hit the send button. “It’s going to be okay, Riv. They’re our friends. They care about you.”

A minute later both of their phones pinged with a text alert. River picked his up and read the message from Nick at the same time as Skye read his.

Ouch. That sucks. I’ll bring the beer and chips

I’ll bring the dessert Jenna responded a second later. I hope you get better soon, River. I’m sorry things have been so rough for you lately. Can’t wait to see you! We’ll play a game on the floor so you can lay down. It’ll be fun ??

“See, what did I tell you?” Skye said, smacking him gently on the shoulder, and River smiled, too.

River

River found a small amount of relief when he sat at the kitchen table with the seat cushion, but he’d had to give up on sitting at the bar all together now. It was just too painful. The couch only worked if he put the seat cushion down and an ice pack on top of it, and that only lasted for as long as he could keep the ice pack on, which was about twenty minutes, so he’d taken to lying on the couch instead, which meant that it was pretty much the only place in the living room he could be. Bending over had become painful as well, and even walking sometimes. He hated it. He hated what this pain was doing to him, the person it was turning him into. He was exhausted, cranky, and getting angrier and angrier. After finally getting his boot off and feeling like life was getting back to normal again, he was having issues somewhere else.

He’d put off going to see the doctor still because he knew what they would recommend. More physical therapy. Well, he’d been doing physical therapy for his ankle and his tailbone on his own and while his ankle was improving, he couldn’t say the same thing for his tailbone.

He didn’t even realize how overwhelmed and upset he was until he felt tears sliding down his cheeks as he lay on the couch one evening while Skye made dinner.

Skye

“Hey, angel, you—” Skye started, but then stopped short when he turned and saw that his best friend was wiping tears from his eyes. His chest constricted as he walked over to where River was lying on the couch, and knelt down next to him. He didn’t even think, just started running his fingers through River’s hair, trying to soothe him. It felt so natural, so perfect. Like this was what his fingers were meant to do. They were meant to care for River, to keep River safe, to love River.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he asked gently.

“I’m just so angry,” River replied. His chest heaved slightly as he wiped away more tears. “I feel like I’ve just traded one pain for another. I don’t understand what’s going on. I want my life back.”

“I know, angel,” Skye said as he moved his fingers to gently, very gently, stroke River’s cheek. His roommate's breath hitched and Skye didn’t know if it was because of his touch, or because he’d been crying, but either way, River didn't ask him to stop, or push him away. In fact, he seemed to relax, his breath slowing, his eyes closed.

Skye continued to stroke River’s cheek softly, just below his ear. Pretty soon, River’s chest was rising and falling gently, and though it was inevitable, he knew, the two dinosaurs that Skye had put in front of the ice wall were gone. And Skye wasn’t even going to try and put them back.

CHAPTER 10

River

He couldn’t do it anymore. It was what he kept telling himself after months of non-stop physical pain, frustrating limitations and feeling overwhelmed emotionally and mentally. He was frustrated, depressed, and honestly the most prevalent emotion was fear. Because he didn’t know what to do, or why the pain was so strong. He didn’t know why his body wasn’t healing itself or if he would ever be back to the way he was before the accident. If he would ever be able to sit again without being in pain.

But the truth of it was, he could tell himself that a hundred times a day, and it didn’t matter, because he didn’t have a choice. Whether he felt like he could do it anymore or not, he had to.

He’d gone to see his orthopedist at Skye’s insistence, and they’d given him pain meds to try which had given him horrible side effects, and hadn’t worked, so next he had tried a cortisone injection in his tailbone, which had been painful as hell, and also hadn’t helped. He’d gotten relief for all of two hours, and then the pain was back.