Page 51 of Fierce Monarch

Gun at the ready, I pressed the door open slowly, ignoring the pristine floors in favor of the woman curled up in the reading chair. My sigh of relief was loud enough to snap Shara’s eyes to mine.

“You’re here?”

“I am,” I said awkwardly, looking around. The library looked the same as it had before I’d come for the journals. Every book in place, everything put together. Not a single splinter on the floor. It was as if my tantrum never had happened.

Shara crooked an eyebrow, smirking as she took in the room too. “Dominic had it fixed last night. Said you took a sledgehammer to everything. You okay?”

“I didn’t take a sledgehammer,” I mumbled, shuffling over to drop onto the couch next to her chair. “I just…lost it.”

If I was waiting for her to scream at me for destroying her beloved’s favorite place or make fun of me for my lack of control, I’d be waiting for a long time.

Shara nodded, tossing a head of short curls out of the way. She must’ve gotten her braids taken out recently.

“What were you looking for?”

When I jerked, she gave me a come on look. “You don’t come in here. Ever. Hell, I don’t even come here often. This place is practically a tomb, a memorial to Antoni. It’s fine,” she said, waving me away when I tried to disagree. “It’s good for us to have a place, but we both know you weren’t in here for some light reading. What did you want?”

“The journals.”

“And the destruction was because you didn’t find them.” She stared into the fireplace, which was empty and cold, lost in her own thoughts. “Who do you think has them?”

“Nate.”

Shara hummed, not agreeing but not disagreeing either. “Maybe. Were they all gone?”

“Every single one.”

“Not every one.” Digging in her purse, she pulled out a black hardbound book.

A journal.

“How?”

“I thought it was Antoni’s, but it’s not. As soon as I realized that, I stopped reading, but it didn’t feel safe to leave it at my place.”

“How long have you been carrying it?”

“A while.” She shrugged, but she looked embarrassed. “I didn’t know how to explain that I’d been reading things I shouldn’t have, and then when shit went south with Cash and Nate, I just?—”

Worried. She was worried that I was going to go off the deep end and kill her, brand her a traitor, kick her out. Fuck, I was doing this all wrong. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she said fiercely. “The people you’ve trusted have been lying to you, deceiving you. You’re allowed to be jumpy.”

“You didn’t bring it to me because you were scared how I’d react. That’s not okay.”

“It’s also not your problem. My feelings aren’t yours to fix, Mari. But we’re here now. I’m just sorry it took so long.”

“Me too, and I’m sorry about the library.”

She gazed around the room, remembered love softening her expression. “Don’t be. I think it’s time we both moved on. Holding his memory here does nothing but keep us rooted in our grief. It’s time, Mari.”

Maybe it was. I could have my vengeance without falling victim to my grief. I could rid my city of Cash with a level head.

I could survive this.

I just had to find the right path forward.

Chapter Fourteen

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