Page 8 of Fierce Monarch

Betrayed the love of my life and ruined any trust she ever had in me or anyone else. I could see it right there in front of me, as I’d stood behind Cash, watching every painful second of her closing herself off to people.

But Grey already knew that.

“I just want to explain.”

“She doesn’t need your explanations. She needs you to leave her alone. Stay the hell away from her, Nathaniel Beckstrom. If you step within a hundred feet of her, I will wipe out your entire fucking bloodline. You hear me?”

That would probably be a mercy, I thought. But I couldn’t say that either. The consequences for spilling our fucked-up secrets meant death. And not mine.

My throat was tight and sharp as I swallowed. “Yeah, I hear you.”

I barely had the words out before the beep of my phone told me he’d hung up. I wanted to throw it at a window, but the device was my only access to Mari. Then again, if Greyson was answering her phone, that avenue was likely closed. Still, I didn’t want to let it go. Couldn’t, really. Not yet.

Tossing it and myself onto the bed, I stared at the ceiling. I’d known the moment the text came in that I’d have to burn any possibility of a life with Mari, but living it was far worse than I’d imagined. I felt an emptiness behind my breastbone that I wasn’t sure I could survive.

You have to, I told myself. You did this. You could have told her. She would have listened. She could have helped you.

But I didn’t because it wasn’t just myself I was trying to protect, and now she was gone. Nothing but a memory of a time I’d never enjoy again.

The weight of my actions had been pressing on me for hours, but alone in my room, it hit hard and fast.

There would be no hand-holding in the car on the way to meetings, no standing at Mari’s back and watching her overachieve when others thought she’d fail. No climbing into bed with her fresh-faced and soft from the shower. No snuggling up to her with the others close by.

That life was over, and I would never get it back.

Still, I couldn’t let her go. Not really. She was the heart in my chest, the breath in my lungs. I couldn’t exist without loving her, so I wouldn’t try to. I’d let the love sustain me, even when it faded for her.

The more I thought about it, the better I felt.

Just because I couldn’t have her didn’t mean I couldn’t keep our history safe, and it didn’t mean I couldn’t keep her safe. If Mari was gone from me forever, an option I could never return to, then the least I could do was make sure she was alive and happy. Even if it killed me to watch someone else take my place.

Chapter Three

Dominic

It was strange waking up in a place that wasn’t the Marcosa mansion. The penthouse suite at the Celestine was comfortable and cozy, but it lacked the warmth the historic mansion had. Or maybe it was just because the suite lacked Mari.

Since we’d gotten home, she’d been quiet and reserved, pulling away from everyone, including Grey and me. Could we blame her? She’d fallen in love with the enemy. The burn in my stomach rose again, and I wondered if I’d need to start carrying antacids soon. Did rage cause ulcers? I wasn’t sure. Just like I wasn’t sure rage was an appropriate term for the cataclysmic-level anger I felt on Mari’s behalf.

Nate lied. He tricked her—he tricked us. Greyson and I gave him the most precious thing in our world, and he destroyed her. Mari might be harboring some sentimentality toward him, but I didn’t, and neither did Grey. He’d earned his death fair and square. Especially knowing this was a hurt that Mari would never heal from.

Pulling on some clothes, I went straight to her door, knocking even though I knew she wouldn’t answer, just like she hadn’t any of the other times I’d tried before I attempted to crash. She’d asked for space, but it went against my nature to leave her alone to lick her wounds. I was her partner. I wanted to hold her through the worst of it, and she wouldn’t let me. Couldn’t, Grey corrected when I asked.

She has to process on her own before she can let us in again.

I was worried she was shutting us out, but Greyson assured me when she came to terms with what happened, she would come for us. I just had to be patient and hope that he was right.

For now, all I got was silence.

I pressed my forehead against the door, sagging a little, desperate to let her know that I was waiting for her with open arms. “I love you, mariposa.”

Come back to me.

After another minute, I stood back, and the frantic energy under my skin pushed me into movement. Knowing sleep wasn’t coming again, I decided to burn it off. Maybe if I exhausted myself, I’d forget why my bed was empty.

Grabbing my keys and my phone, I left the suite, nodding to Moore and Tennessee standing guard outside our door. None of us were comfortable leaving Mari alone, even for a second. Cash had put a target on her back, not just in the city, but within the family, and if we weren’t careful, we were going to end up with a dead queen.

Taking the stairs at a quick clip, I let the descent warm up my muscles. By the time I made it to the tenth floor, I was ready to go. With a beep of the card against the lock, I whipped open the gym door, only to walk straight into Joaquin.

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