Page 13 of Queen Of Clubs

There are some general health questions, but overall, nothing too crazy. When I’m done, I hand it back and she gives me back my ID. She takes a moment to look it over and smiles. “Well, happy birthday!”

“Thanks.” I try to smile but it doesn’t reach my eyes. There’s nothing happy about this birthday. There hasn’t been since my sixteenth. Today is just a reminder that my life will never be easy. That I will have to work hard for everything I want if I want to stay alive, to stay safe.

That's pretty much the goal for the foreseeable future. Stay alive, stay safe.

She does a few things before handing me a card and a package of papers. “This is programmed to your room. You are still required to sign in and out of the center when you leave. No guests are allowed past this desk. In your room, you will have everything you need regarding sanitary items and hygiene products. There are some basic hoodies and sweatpants already in the dresser, but if you require something a little less boring, just let me know.” She winks. “You also have a private bathroom.”

I blink at her in awe. All of this. I get all of this? “And it’s all free?” I ask in disbelief.

“It’s all free.” She gives me a caring smile. “There is a small lunchroom on the lower level if you find yourself wanting something to eat. But if you call ahead, they will bring your meals to your room.”

“Thank you.” My eyes tear up for a whole new reason. This can’t be real, can it?

I’m in no position to question it. So, I won’t.

“I’m Lana, by the way, and this is Tara. She’s going to take you to your room.” A woman steps up to the desk, giving me a friendly smile.

“Hello.”

I smile and nod, letting her lead me past the desk and down the hall. This whole place is a mix of pastel colors that gives you a calming feeling. Nothing bright, nothing dark. This place is surreal.

“Here you go. Just press one on the phone if you need anything. It’s on the desk inside.”

“Thank you.”

She smiles and nods before leaving me at the door. Room 101. Using the key card, I scan it over the lock. It clicks, and I push the door open, gasping when I see the sight before me.

Lips parted, I step inside in utter awe. “Oh my God,” I whisper, slowly taking in the room. This can’t be real. None of this is real, is it?

The walls are a few shades darker than mint green, the floor is covered in a plush carpet that I know I’m going to like when I take my shoes off.

And the bed. It’s something right off a Pinterest board.

A gold bar frame holds up a queen-sized mattress. A white comforter lays on top with a number of tiny pillows at the head of the bed, all in different colors that match the room so well.

My bag drops off my shoulder, hitting the ground with a thump as I continue to stare at the room in disbelief.

And then I start to cry. Deep, heavy sobs as the events of the past few days—the past few years, really—hit me all at once. I sit on the end of the bed, putting my face in my hands and cry for the girl I used to be, the girl I thought I’d become, the girl I am now, and the woman that I’ll be one day.

I’ve never been so afraid in my life. I don’t know what I’m going to do or where I’m going to end up, but I have to have hope.

This is my life, and if I don’t at least try to do my best, I have no one to blame for my failures.

The system failed me, my foster parents failed me, and so did the three boys I thought never would.

But I won’t fail myself. I’m the only one I can depend on. No one else.

A FEW WEEKS PASS, AND it’s sad to say, they were some of the best weeks of my life. The center has been a safe haven. The workers are nice, and the omegas are friendly. I haven’t made any friends, not sure if I plan on doing that, but everyone is nice enough.

Here I’ve had an amazing night’s sleep, always a full belly, and I’m not looking over my shoulder, waiting for Charles to come and snatch me up.

Mostly because I haven’t left the building. There are a lot of things to do for activities. A gym to work out in, a pool to swim in, and a beautiful garden in the center of the property. But the best thing is the books.

So many books. I’ve let myself get lost in so many different worlds to take me away from this one.

Only, I can’t do that anymore. I can’t hide. I need to make my choice. Do I leave here and head to San Francisco for a new life, or stay here? I’m allowed to get a job and live at the center at the same time.

I could stay and live this comfortable life. At least for a little while.

---