Page 3 of Their Witch Bride

I frown. If men like big boobs, they’re not going to be very happy with me. Then I shake my head, trying to shake away the negative self-talk. Someone will like me and my breasts, eventually. When I’m ready. But that won’t be any time soon, so I don’t have to worry about it.

Edna and the mystery man, probably some guy from the village, are thrusting at each other in the water, their mouths all over each other, like they’re trying to suck off each other’s faces. I don’t get it. I’ve had crushes before, but I’ve never felt the need to lick some guy’s nostril or flap my boobs against him. Not that my mom would let me waste my time with anything like that, even if I wanted to, or that any boy would look at my terrifying mother and want anything to do with me.

Maybe this is just one of those things I’ll understand when I’ve had sex? I kind of hope not. I kind of hope these two are doing it wrong.

“It’s really hot down there,” I joke, watching so hard I forget to breathe.

Wisp whispers, “Hot.”

“Very hot,” I whisper back.

Is this sex? I can’t see under the water. Are they officially “doing it” and all that? Can a dick that small even reach Edna in the water? Or does it… like, get bigger now, sprout out like a horse wiener? Or maybe it’s like some kind of water creature in a cave that squirts out to attack?

“Squirting and attacking, the motto of every dick.”

“Squirt and attack,” Wisp says, but she sounds more offended than like she’s agreeing with me.

Then, something changes in the air. I sniff, picking up a hint of… smoke? It seems their thrusting and thrashing has made a fire in their pants. Or is that not a real thing? I mean, I’ve never seen someone with their pants on fire, but maybe that’s where the saying comes from?

Except, the smell of smoke intensifies.

“Do you smell smoke?” I turn to my will-o’-wisp. She lights up like a flame and disappears into the air, which is oh so helpful.

I glance around, then scoot back in shock. There’s fire burning on a little branch just below me, billowing up smoke and spreading rapidly. How the hell is that possible?

My mind scrambles for an answer, then freezes on one moment. Fuck! I said hot. Is this seriously when my powers decided to work? I guess I can use my Elemental Magic, but only at the worst time possible, which falls in line with most of my powers.

Luckily, the fire is small, small enough that I think I can blow it out. So, I scoot forward again, into the smoke, and start blowing. Which doesn’t work. In fact, the fire triples in size within seconds.

Fuck. What can I do now? I’m not about to try my horrible powers again, so my mind starts working. I take off my satchel and beat the fire with it. For one second, I think it’s working, but then I realize my actions have only served to push the fire up further into the tree… and my bag is on fire now too.

Holding back, I cling to my bag as flaming leaves fall down on me from above. I hiss as they sting my skin, and flap my arms, trying to keep from lighting on fire. Except, it throws off my balance, and then I’m falling.

A scream tears from my lips as I brace for a few broken bones. Luckily, I don’t splatter to the ground. Instead, I fall right into the lake. Of course. I’d forgotten it was there. Surfacing, I spit out water and glance above me at the tree that’s properly on fire now.

Someone clears their throat just behind me, and my whole body clenches as I turn around and face Edna and her mystery man. He just looks confused and scared. She looks pissed, no surprise there.

“Uh, sorry, but it seems the tree has caught fire. If you wouldn’t mind, uh, helping me with that.”

Edna rolls her eyes at me, and with a flourish of her hand, she puts out the fire in the tree. It’s no effort for her. None at all. She doesn’t even have to say a word; she can just think about what she wants. Because as bad as I am, she’s that good, and she knows it. Always has.

Then, the two naked people are just staring at me, while I stand wishing I could just sink beneath the water and disappear. I mean, it’s not just that I needed my ass saved from the fire. Both of them have clearly figured out I was in the tree watching them go at it.

My cheeks feel hot. “Uh, thanks, Edna. I think I’ll be going.” I inch backwards, wincing.

“Who is she?” mystery man asks, more than a touch of annoyance in his voice.

Edna doesn’t miss a beat, her voice dripping with disdain. “That’s just Princess Tara. A total fucking disappointment.”

My heart aches, and I tilt my head. “Nice to meet you.” Then I turn and race out of there as fast as I can, silently praying for the world to swallow me up before Edna tells all the other witches what I’d done.

Though I know full well I’m not that lucky.

TWO

Rinan

The witch territory smells of death and blood. Or maybe that’s just the passage. My gaze roams over the one corridor between the Shifter Kingdom and the Witch Kingdom, the one break between the mountains that surround witch territory. I note the blood-stained sand. Bent, broken, and shattered weapons litter the ground and protrude from the mountain walls. It’s a fucking nightmare.

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