Page 7 of Their Witch Bride

“If I had any clue what role I might be assigned, I wouldn’t mind as much, but my mother has been away, bargaining with the shifters to come up with a peace agreement. She won’t be back until right before the ceremony, so I can’t ask her about it.”

“Maybe there will be some time beforehand though,” he suggests helpfully.

“Maybe.” Doubtfully.

He grins. “Either way, witches are given the roles they’re meant to have, right? So, you’ll be okay.”

Yeah, right. “And what if my role is something new and unheard of, like Cleaner of Toilets?”

He laughs.

“Or Cutter of Pubic Hair.”

His nose wrinkles.

“Oh! Which reminds me, what’s a dildo and why does it go in your ass?”

He stares.

I stare.

“Because I thought things were supposed to leave your ass, not the other way around.”

“U-uf.” He says nothing else, just makes some weird sound.

I put my hands on my hips. “Because the other witches said I’m like a dildo in the ass without lube.”

He does that thing a lot of people do with me. He looks to the heavens like they might be able to help him. But when I just keep staring, he eventually sighs and rubs his hand awkwardly over his head. “Let’s just say they were saying you were unpleasant to be around.”

I think about it, wishing he’d tell me more, but just nod. “That’s not exactly a surprise. But then, things aren’t supposed to go in your ass at all, right?”

His face goes crimson. “Sometimes, on some occasions, things might, but, uh, you don’t have to worry about that, Princess.”

“Fair enough,” I say, deciding that’s enough pushing for today.

He clears his throat. “So, uh, a peace agreement would be monumental.”

It would be, but he understands war in a way I don’t, since he’s much older than I am, and has seen actual warfare. As a squire on the battlefield for the witches against the shifters, he’s held witches as they died in his arms. So he, in a way I can never understand, values the idea of peace between the two kingdoms.

“I can’t imagine what life would be like if my mom came back with an actual agreement.”

He seems to relax a bit, leaning against his work table. “The shifters and witches have been fighting for as long as the books go back. Peace would change our lives forever.” He sounds wistful for a minute before continuing. “But if I were a betting man, I wouldn’t bet on any deal lasting for long.”

The shifters are nearly as bloodthirsty and violent as actual monsters. If most of the Crystal Realm, the Witch Kingdom, wasn’t surrounded by mountains, I’m sure all they’d do is attack us. The assholes have nothing better to do between eating their young, beating their women, and fighting us.

“Maybe they’re tired of fighting,” I say, shrugging.

The truth is, I have no idea what their people are really like. The mountains act as a barrier, but they don't keep the most ruthless and hungry shifters out of the Witch Kingdom. Those bastards come through the passage and attack, keeping us constantly at war.

“I once saw a shifter tear a witch’s limbs right off in one motion,” he says, shaking his head.

“That’s horrible,” I say, unable to fathom witnessing such an act of violence.

“Oh, war is much worse than that. It’s a collection of terrible moments that either pull you under, or you learn to detach yourself from. As unlikely as I think a treaty would be, I’m hoping it does happen. Anything to make sure future generations don’t have to suffer the way all the others have.”

“Agreed.”

“As for you,” he changes the subject and his face brightens, “just remember that everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to. All witches are happy with their assignments, and I’m sure you will be too.”

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