Page 40 of Until I Own You

I shut my eyes tight. It doesn’t feel good anymore. It’s painful to touch myself to thoughts of her when I know I could have the real thing if our circumstances weren’t so fucked.

I stroke myself to completion, coming sadly onto myself as usual. What a fucking waste of my virility.

Leaning back, I catch my breath which isn’t nearly as labored as it would be if I was able to release the way I wanted to. Fucking Bridget. Dominating Bridget. Making Bridget come and using her for my purposes.

I shut my eyes, and I’m greeted with the image of her under me. The memory of her up against the door, pinned by my hips and my hands. Her heart pounding against my chest, want so clear I could smell it.

She was such a good girl for me. Just that minute against the door.

Tears sting at the back of my eyes. I don’t cry and know I won’t. It’s been years.

Not since the day I lost my dad.

But to be threatened with tears is enough to show me that my want for Bridget might break me if I’m not careful.

Unless I completely abandoned my life…which I don’t want to do.

I like my life. My work, my family, my friends.

Bridget.

I make a fist and smash it against my forehead. Breath growls in and out of me.

If something doesn’t change, I’m going to break.

Which means I either break my world or it breaks me.

And for Bridget, I’m willing to burn it all down.

Jack holds out the controller in my direction. “You want a turn?”

I shake my head. “I’m good, man.”

He snorts. “Suit yourself.”

It’s guys night. A usual great distraction from any racing thoughts. But no dice. Bridget is still first and foremost on the brain.

But I’m okay with that now.

Because I have a plan. I just need to get Nate alone.

“Okay, another round?” Mason navigates the Call of Duty menu with his own controller.

“I’m down,” Jack says.

Nate shakes his head. “I need a break.”

My heart lurches in my chest.

Perfect.

Maybe I can lure him out of Jack’s living room and into the kitchen for a chat.

Jack looks to Mason. “Tag team?”

Covering his mouth with his hand, Mason starts to laugh. “That doesn’t mean what you think it does?”

Nate laughs too, causing Jack to roll his eyes.

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