Page 18 of Until I Own You

“On the horse.”

Penny nods, her head back down and goes to the spanking horse in the corner of the room.

As she stands, my eyes take in her attire today…delicate teddy that parts right below her breasts and scrapes the ground as she stands.

I dare not look any lower for fear of my stomach turning on me completely. It sickens me as it turns me on because it’s Bridget. Not just because it’s her design. It exudes who Bridget is and that only muddles my brain further.

But undressing her feels wrong. Her naked form might be perfect to another man. To me, it’s just a hollow counterfeit of the one I really want.

Penny lays herself prone on the spanking horse, and it does absolutely nothing for me.

Maybe if I go through the motions, I will get into it.

I clip her wrists in, then her ankle.

“Good girl.” The words burn my tongue on the way out as each action I take brings me further away from what is happening. From me.

Who is this person? Where am I?

I grip the flogger in my hand and pass it over her backside, clothed with a thin layer of mesh. I could say I’m teasing her. Making her yearn for my touch.

Truth is, I’m just buying time. Because I don’t want to do this. Not with her.

I pull my arm back and swat her backside once. Twice.

I stare at her ass.

I feel nothing. Nothing at all.

Maybe if I keep trying…

Again, I wind my arm up, decided to do right by the sub. Just because I feel hollow, doesn’t mean I won’t try to make it worth it for her.

“Red,” Penny announces.

I drop my arm, frowning but relieved, the flogger hitting the outside of my leg. “Are you alright?”

I hurry to release her restraints.

As soon as she is free, she sits up on the bench, looking at me before lowering her eyes again. “I’m sorry, Master Carlton.”

“Is everything okay?”

Her eyes fleet to mine again before she nods. “It’s just that… I’m not comfortable going on with you like this.” She is twisting her hands. “You don’t seem like you want to be here. It’s like your head is miles away.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Is it that obvious?”

Penny smiles and gets to her feet, her head down and her hands holding each other in front of her. Still the perfect submissive. “Please forgive me, Master Carlton, but perhaps we can do this another time.”

“I’ll compensate you for your time,” I say.

Penny shakes her head. “That’s not necessary, Master. But thank you.”

It’s a fruitless argument. I’ll see to it that she gets something as an apology at least. “You are free to go, then. Thank you, Penny.”

Penny gives a single nod, then disappears through the door back into the atrium of the Underground.

I lock the door behind her and take in the empty room.

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