Page 131 of Until I Own You

I grab my chest. I’m throbbing for him. I have never felt full before him. I need him. He’s a part of me.

My hand slides up to my collar. “I’m yours, Seth. This doesn’t change that I’m yours.”

He shakes his head softly. “No, you’re right. That doesn’t change.”

Without another word, he leaves my room and leaves a haze of confusion in his wake.

I slide down to the floor and sit there for a long time.

I do not release my collar. The collar I earned by being his. The one I just fucking earned today for being a good sub, for giving into all his desires.

Except the one that actually meant something.

I blink. Tears run down my face.

God. I wish I could have said yes. So bad. But I can’t.

I can’t hurt my dad.

He can’t know that I’m not his good little girl. He doesn’t deserve that.

And neither does Amelia.

They’ve wanted us to get along for years. Not fuck each other.

Not fall in love.

Seth is right. I ruined everything.

24

SETH

I busy myself on the return trip with work. Lots of work. Headphones in, eyes glued to my computer screen work. I ignore Bridget to the best of my ability, so much so that Abigail pinches me at one point and tells me I’m being as asshole.

Yes. She’s correct. I’m an asshole.

Back in New York, I throw myself into my work even deeper. Long nights at the office, not a single visit to the club. Just work, eat, and sleep.

Well, not eat. Not really. My grief has taken up residency in both my chest and my stomach, making it impossible for me to eat more than a few bites of anything.

I do have plenty of room for alcohol, though. It is not a good habit to get into, drinking every night. Drinking sometimes as early as noon too.

I just want to forget. Want to forget I felt a fucking thing ever.

Bridget has every right to the way she feels, but I’ll be damned if I don’t hold her accountable for ripping my heart into a million pieces and throwing them around like confetti.

Every phone call from a number I don’t recognize I pray will be her on the end of the line, saying in her sweet voice, “Seth? Can we talk?”

It never is. Of course, it isn’t.

I have half a mind to pull a Nate.

Years ago now, Nate up and left New York after a falling out with Edwin, abandoned us all for LA.

In the nighttime hours, when heartbreak has been keeping me awake, I daydream of where I could go to escape it all.

Every time I settle on a location, though, Bridget shows up in my fantasy.

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