Page 126 of Until I Own You

I place my hands on her shoulders to press my cock as deep as I’ll go over and over until she cries out, a sound unlike anything that has ever come out of her mouth.

Her body trembles and quakes so much it’s impossible for me not to come too.

Except I’m so numb I don’t even feel like I’ve come. I know I’ve released into her, know that I’ve given her all of me.

And yet…

My head falls forward. And I break.

Or… I don’t break.

Breaking is dangerous. I need to be in control.

She is my sub. She depends on me to be in control and know what’s best for her. For both of us.

I don’t know if I’ve ever known what’s good for me, though.

Despite trying to suppress it, I let out a sob and a few tears fall from my eyes.

I try to catch them, but they land against Bridget’s back.

I retreat from her body as fast as I can without hurting her. I pull my sweatpants back on, hiding my face in my hand as I take a step toward the door.

“Seth, oh my god, did I hurt you?”

“No, I have to–I have to go, this is–”

Bridget’s hand lands against my waist.

I have no power against her.

I let her hand guide me back to the bed.

The backs of my knees hit the edge of the mattress. I sit down. Collapse more like it.

I have no strength to make any other choice. A torrent of weeping thrums from me. I press my face into my hands and cry.

What Bridget doesn’t know as she cradles me, leans herself against my back, is that her closeness is making me cry even harder.

I cry for so many things. For my father, for the person I was before he died and the person I was for the past ten years, intimidating Bridget, making her think I hated her.

I weep for everything I want and don’t know how to ask for.

All the while, Bridget remains beside me. Unafraid that her Dom has lost control.

Her arms and legs loop around me. She presses her lips to the side of my head. “It’s okay. It’s all okay. I’m here, Seth.”

And the second my name leaves her mouth, I lift my head and let it fall against her shoulder. My heart has been expanding all this time, and I am just now feeling how big it’s gotten in my chest.

I’ve tried to fill up the hole my father left inside me with concrete. It has weighed me down, kept me from letting anyone in.

All it has taken is a single chink to ruin the infrastructure I laid down as an act of desperation.

Bridget has broken me open.

And I can no longer pretend.

I want her in every way a man can want a woman. Everything be damned.

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