Page 154 of Until I Own You

“I know that.”

“Of course, you do. But I want you to know I think she’s just as amazing as you do. If not more so. Not to compete, not to say you’re not doing your utmost for her, but…”

I lose ability to speak. I’m scared to ask the question. Scared to be told no.

“Just say it, Seth.”

The smile on his face tells me everything. He already knows what I’m going to say.

He probably already fucking knew I was going to talk to him about this tonight.

“I’d like permission to pursue her. Romantically. It’s very important to her that both you and my mother are comfortable with it, and I’ve already spoken to my mother about it, and she’s in support. I know it’s strange. Some might say perverse. However, I don’t feel anything we’ve done or anything we feel is wrong.”

“So, you know Bridget feels the same?”

I purse my lips. Now I’ve outed Bridget as a liar too. Fuck. “Yes, we’ve spoken at length about it.” Among other things.

Solomon leans his head in his hand, fingers in an ‘L’ shape. He watches me for a long time. Then, he says, “I have always liked you, Seth. You know this, I hope.”

“I’ve always liked you too, S-Solomon.”

“Your mother has done an amazing job with you. Your father too, of course. I would’ve loved to meet him, although, then we wouldn’t be here.”

I shake my head. “No, we wouldn’t be.”

It is a strange feeling. To wish things were one way and to also be happy the way things are. I hope I am allowed that happiness and contentment. If Solomon would only say yes.

“You would have never met my daughter,” he says, followed by a heavy sigh. His fingers trace the arms of his chair, and he fixes his eyes to the wall.

I haven’t spent enough time in Solomon’s office to know the details. But when I follow his gaze, I find myself looking at a small black and white portrait of a little girl held by her mother.

Bridget and…

“Life is very confusing,” Solomon says, through a sad chuckle. He slides his hand across his mouth. “It’s incomprehensible, really. One day you’re high as a kite on life, the next…” He shakes his head, lips tightening. “You know how it is, Seth.”

I do. Because one day you’re fourteen and going on a fishing trip with your dad, just like you always do. And the next, you’re a shell of yourself.

“What I’m trying to say is, I know what love can do to a person. It is the most devastating feeling, because there is an inherent knowledge that with love comes loss. Whether it be the wrong match or otherwise. However, without it, life is meaningless.”

I blink at him. My hands are so slick I fear I’ll drop the ship in a bottle.

“I would never keep Bridget from that. I would never keep you from that either. Whether you like it or not, you’re a son to me in my heart. Which I know is odd considering I’m approving of you–” Solomon clears his throat, “—dating my daughter. But I love you, and I see what an amazing man you are.”

“Thank you, Solomon,” I say, a lump in my throat.

“As long as you can promise me that your intentions are pure…”

Pure might not be the best word for it, but–

“That you’ll treat her the way she deserves and if you don’t already know, Bridget deserves everything,” he goes on with a warning look.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

“And you also deserve the best, Seth. Bridget is the best, so I couldn’t think of a better match.”

I laugh despite myself. Was I really stressing so hard about this all week for my stepfather just to say everything is hunky dory? “I’m–sorry, I’m just–uh…”

“You were shitting yourself, weren’t you?” Solomon rubs his shin with an entertained grin.

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