Page 89 of After All This Time

Mom’s jaw vibrates, and her eyes blink rapidly to stop more tears from pouring out, but it’s no use.

Celia answers for her before she runs after Mom when she leaves the room. “I’m so sorry, honey. Your brother is telling the truth.”

“So, y-you’re telling me I-I came in here with a father…and I’ll be leaving here without o-one?”

I nod. “Yes,” I whisper.

God, I hate that Lizzie has to go through all the stages of grief on top of getting back to her old self.

Sometimes life fucking sucks.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

dani

My mom took Laura outside of Lizzie’s room to help soothe her.

Lizzie has her face buried in her hands and leans back on her pillow. My heart is shattering inside my chest as I watch a multitude of expressions fill her face.

Noah starts talking to her. “I know this is a lot to process. I still haven’t fully processed any of it. Something I wish I did was scream when Dr. Miller told us about Dad.” He pauses. “Do it. Pretend you’re not in a hospital full of people.” He backs up and leans on the back of the chair, taking me with him. “I’d cover your ears if I were you. She’s a pretty loud screamer.”

I do what he says, pressing the palms of my hands to my ears to filter out the noise.

Lizzie opens her mouth against her pillow, releasing muffled screams.

Hospital workers are looking into our room, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I don’t blame them.

Her screaming changes to sobbing in a matter of seconds. She face-plants into the bed. Her body shakes as muffled sobs are being filtered out from the material of her pillow.

I take my hands off my ears.

One of the nurses comes rushing in with Mom and Laura following her.

“Is everything okay?” the nurse asks.

She’s in her early thirties, wearing scrubs. Her blonde hair is tied up in a low ponytail, bringing out her emerald-green eyes.

“What the hell is going on here?” Laura asks her son.

“I told her to scream to release some of the pain. It’s something I wish I did when I found out about Dad’s passing.”

“Noah, we’re in a public place. Don’t do that again. Sometimes I wonder if you’re actually an adult.”

He shakes his head, focusing his attention on Lizzie.

His sister is sitting and staring at the wall across from her. “How did I survive? Why couldn’t it have been me instead of him?”

“Oh, honey. Dr. Miller told us your injuries weren’t as severe. Please don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault.” Laura’s doing her best to console her daughter.

This is exactly how I felt.

I thought Dad’s accident was my fault even though I wasn’t in the car with him.

I felt guilty I wasn’t there. If I was, I would’ve tried to do something. Curse out the asshole who hit him. I could’ve saved his life or prolonged it for as long as humanly possible.

His death will scar me for the rest of my life as an open wound. I don’t know if it will ever heal. That’s the thing about losing someone who meant the entire world to you. It doesn’t feel like they’re gone forever. They’re just taking an extended vacation without you.

I wish I had the power to take Lizzie’s pain away and heal her broken heart. I’d heal Noah’s pain and broken heart too. And mine.

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