LIZZIE
THANK YOU. LOVE YOU BRO!
My brain is malfunctioning. I’m staring at the wall lined with Dani’s Polaroid posters, trying to digest the information my sister fed me.
How does Lizzie end off our conversation with a friendly ‘love you bro’ after she just told me about how Mom made funeral arrangements for Dad? Why did she tell me over text and not wait to tell me in person? Why did Mom have her tell me about this?
I knew this was going to happen. How could it not? Mom wants to give Dad a proper send-off and I respect that.
I just wish it didn’t have to happen at all.
“Was that your mom?” Dani asks.
“Lizzie, actually. We need to go before she murders my mom with her IV machine. And she told me Mom made funeral arrangements for Dad.”
“She’s annoying her that much?”
I nod.
“Noah, are you okay?”
“I don’t think I’ve been okay for the past month. This is fucking icing on top of the cake I don’t want to eat.” I inhale and exhale. “Go get dressed. I mean it this time.”
She kisses my cheek. “Yes, sir.”
We’re both dressed, scrambling to make sure we have everything we need.
My phone is in my back pocket.
Dani has her purse hanging diagonally across her body.
We’re standing in the middle of the foyer, between the living room and dining room.
“Do you have everything you need?”
“I think so,” she says.
“Double check, and make sure. I don’t know if we’ll have to come back to the house. I don’t know how long we’re going to be at the hospital. I?—”
She cuts me off before I can finish my train of thought. “Hey Noah.”
“What?”
She cups my face with both of her hands, staring at me with those big brown eyes of hers. “Breathe, baby.”
I’m her baby now. I could get used to that.
Inhaling and exhaling, I stare deep into her eyes which are melting my core down to nothing and mesmerizing the shit out of me.
The color brown is often associated with resilience, dependability, and security.
Dani’s one of the most resilient people I’ve ever met. I’ve been able to depend on her so much. She’s provided me with a sense of security I’ve always dreamed of having with someone. I feel so safe when I’m with her. It’s absolutely insane.
Her lips curve up to form a smile which naturally causes me to smile, too. She’s breathing in and out with me. “You good?”
I nod, running my tongue along the top row of my teeth. “I’m good. I do have one question, though.”
“What is it?”