Page 33 of After All This Time

I’m pulled out of my memories as Bella pulls up to the front of the house. I didn’t even realize how long I zoned out.

You can’t get any more beachy than the Solomon family home.

It’s a mid-sized two-story Colonial with an exterior that’s covered in light grayish blue shingles, white detailing, and multiple shades of gray that make up the roof. What ties it all together is the front porch which overlooks a zoomed-out view of the ocean.

The front of the house is lined with an eye-catching variety of flowers. I missed seeing a home full of life and color. Hightower has nice landscaping but it doesn’t compare to the magic Mom is able to create.

I haven’t been home since Hanukkah.

That was six months ago.

I’ve had no reason to come back home because I’ve been so busy working on my debut novel and my coursework.

I’ve had no time to see Mom in person. There’s not a day that goes by where we don’t talk, whether it’s through texting or FaceTime.

Bella turns to me. “Are you okay?”

I stare at the house, turning my head and peeling my eyes towards her direction. “I know six months isn’t a long time to be away, but it’s strange being back here.”

Bella switches positions, turning more in her seat to face me. “Six months is a pretty long time to be away from home, Dani. Especially when you only live an hour away.”

I don’t want to talk about how I’m feeling right now. I just want to go inside and take a shower. I need to wash off everything that happened over the last twenty-four hours.

“You don’t need to come in with me. I’ll text you when I’m done with my shower.”

She nods. “You text me if you need anything. Not only when you’re done with your shower. Okay?”

“Okay,” I say.

Opening the car door, I slip out of Bella’s car carefully since it has some height to it and I’m pretty short.

She waves at me as I slam the passenger car door shut. I hear the sound of her car driving away as I walk up to my front door.

When I unlock the door, I’m immediately overcome with emotion.

Dad’s presence lingers throughout the house.

I can still picture him sitting on the sofa, watching TV. I can hear his laugh bouncing off the concrete walls and the sound of his voice.

That’s the real reason why I haven’t been back here. It’s still hard to come back home and be reminded that he’s not here. He'll never be here.

It’s been almost an entire decade and I’m still not over it.

I don’t think I'll ever be over it.

A year and a half after my dad’s passing, I tried to convince Mom we should move. It would’ve been a fresh start for us. But, she didn’t want to leave. She couldn’t leave because leaving would’ve felt like abandoning Dad. Plus, she couldn’t bear the thought of living more than five minutes away from Laura.

It’s not just that, though.

Laura and Ben took care of us and supported us.

On the day that Dad passed away, Laura held my mom for hours on our sofa. For hours. Across them, Ben sat on the ottoman, holding her hand.

Lizzie and I spent countless hours together, laying in my bed and sharing my earbuds. We listened to Pity Party by Melanie Martinez, Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey, and Cigarette Daydreams by Cage the Elephant on repeat. It might have not been the best idea, but I needed some kind of a release.

Bella graciously offered for me to stay with her for a few months until I was ready to go back to my house. It was so hard for me to step foot in there. Way more difficult than it is now.

Her mom, Teresa, is the most generous and kindest human in the entire world. Her older sister, Valerie, is a year younger than Lizzie. She’s one of the coolest human beings I’ve ever met.

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