Dr. Miller finally came to talk to us. She said that she feels confident to release Lizzie from the hospital tomorrow afternoon. That is as long as everything goes okay for her during the night and in the morning
That being said, I’ll be helping Laura with Lizzie because I know she can’t do all this on her own. She needs help even though she’d never ask for it. Anyways, I hope you and Noah are okay. Have you kicked him out of the house yet?
ME
no and i don’t plan to
MOM
I’m so happy to hear that. How’s he doing?
ME
he’s been blaming himself for what happened to ben and lizzie, but i’m helping him work through his emotions
MOM
That’s good. I’m happy to hear you two are getting along. I’m on my way to drop Laura back at her house and then I’ll be coming back to our house to pick up some things I didn’t need at the time but now I do
ME
okay, we’re on our way back to the house now
MOM
Remember to breathe, honey. I love you
ME
i love you too
The constant reminder to just breathe has been the usual for me since middle school.
My first panic attack was scary as hell. I was sitting in class when my vision suddenly turned all blurry. A knot so tightly wound in my chest that wouldn’t go away. I couldn’t see straight so my teacher sent me to the nurse’s office.
I ended up spending hours there because I didn’t want to go back into that classroom. The nurse ended up calling my mom to come and pick me up.
We had a long talk in the car about what we were going to do because I couldn’t stay in public middle school any longer. She homeschooled me for a few months until she found a private middle school that worked for the both of us.
I don’t know what I would’ve done with my mom. I don’t know where I’d be or who I’d be right now. I’m so grateful for her. Dad was busy with his job at the time, but he still found time to take care of me when Mom needed a break.
I can’t imagine how draining it was for them, not knowing what was going to happen with me.
Mom found a therapist who specializes in helping kids and teenagers with anxiety, depression, and everything in between. Dr. Jennifer Price, whom I referred to as Jen, saved my life.
When Brain Damage finishes, I pause my playlist and rip the earbud out of my ear, so I can tell Noah the good news.
I stare at him for a moment to catch his attention.
He takes the earbud out of his ear, eyes widening. “Is everything okay?”
I smile, tears bubbling up in my eyes. “My mom just gave me the best update.” I pause. “Lizzie’s coming home tomorrow.”
Noah bursts into tears, burying his face in between his legs.
Now, I’m crying and rubbing his back.
When he lifts his head up, he looks at me for a couple of seconds and hugs me. His hands wrap tightly around my waist as his fingers run through loose tendrils in my hair.