Page 52 of Stepping Up

“Well, Doctor Ben is your dad. I met him several years ago, and we made you. But I didn’t know about you until later, after we lost touch, and so I never got to tell him you were here until he came back to us. Isn’t that special?”

She thought of this for a long second, and then her smile started to break through like the slow ascent of sunrise. “It is. Does that mean Nate and Logan are my dads, too?”

“I…” My words trailed off. I guess I could see how she’d gotten that idea. And despite the crumbling I’d set in motion, the thought of sharing my best girl with my three best guys had such a lovely appeal, too. I blinked hard to keep myself from forming tears. “Well, that depends. Would you like them to be your dads? Would it be okay with you, having all three of them?”

“Duh,” Ella said, making me want to laugh even as tears still threatened. She looked at me like this was the most obvious thing in the world. “Three dads are better than just one, huh? And that’s way better than no dad. My friends’ dads teach them cool things and do all kinds of goofy stuff. I want to tell my friends about my dads, too.”

The weight of realization settled heavily on my shoulders, pressing down with a force that threatened to crush me beneath its burden. I couldn't deny it any longer—I had been using Ella and my mom as shields, hiding behind them to avoid confronting my own fears and insecurities about how deeply I cared about Logan, Bennett, and Nate. And now, as I sat across from Ella, the truth staring back at me from her innocent green eyes, I couldn't help but feel a profound sense of regret.

"Ella," I began, my voice faltering slightly as I struggled to find the right words. "I… I'm sorry."

Her gaze softened, the corners of her lips turning up in a small, understanding smile. "What for, Mama?"

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what was to come. "For… for not being honest with you sooner. And for letting fear guide my actions. I want you to always be brave, and Mama hasn’t been very brave lately.”

Ella listened intently, her brow furrowing in thought as she processed my words.

"I know that each of your dads loves you very much," I continued, my heart heavy with guilt. "But they might not want to be with Mama anymore because of the disagreement we had."

Ella considered this for a moment, her expression pensive as she weighed my words carefully. And then, with the wisdom of a child far beyond her years, she spoke.

"But Mama," she said, her voice gentle yet firm, "you just have to say you're sorry."

Her words cut through the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside me, offering a glimmer of hope in the darkness of my despair. It was a simple solution to a problem that I had made needlessly complicated, a reminder that sometimes, the path forward was clearer than we dared to believe.

I looked into Ella's eyes, seeing the strength and resilience that lay within her, the reminder of Bennett, and I felt a surge of determination wash over me. She was right. It could be that simple. All I had to do was swallow my pride, admit my mistakes, and ask for forgiveness.

"Thank you, sweetheart," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. "Thank you for being mine, and for being the smartest person I know."

Ella beamed at me, pure light and happiness personified. As I spoke the words aloud, a weight lifted from my chest, replaced by a sense of hope and renewal. Maybe it wasn't too late to make things right, to mend the bonds that had been strained by my own misguided actions.

There were still uncertainties. The guys didn’t have to forgive me just because I told them I was sorry, and hell, maybe they’d lost interest in me by now, anyway. But I made a silent vow to myself—to be brave, to be honest, and to never again let fear dictate my actions. For Ella, for my guys, and for the love that bound us together, I would do whatever it took to make things right.

33

CARLY

As I pulled the car up to Dwight's house for a scheduled family dinner I now regretted agreeing to attend, a whirlwind of nerves and anticipation churned in the pit of my stomach. The weight of my recent realization about my feelings for Logan, Nate, and Ben hung heavily in the air, mingling with the not-so-sweet scent of uncertainty. I couldn't shake the feeling that tonight held the key to my future, that every word spoken and every glance exchanged would shape the course of my life.

The air in Dwight's house was thick with anticipation as I stepped through the doorway, Ella's small hand nestled in mine, offering both reassurance and strength. The hallway stretched before us, lined with family photographs capturing moments of joy and love—a stark contrast to the unease that lingered in the present moment.

As we neared the dining room, the sounds of laughter and conversation drifted out to meet us, mingling with the tantalizing aroma of home-cooked food. Entering the room, I took solace in Ella's presence beside me, her unwavering support a source of comfort as if she were the parent in this situation. My kid was just that awesome. Logan, Bennett, and Nate sat at one side of Dwight’s long farmhouse table, their expressions guarded, their eyes avoiding mine. It made me want to cry. You’re here to fix things, Carly.

Ella's eyes sparkled with excitement as she greeted each of them in turn, her infectious enthusiasm momentarily easing the tension in the room. "Hi, Doctor Ben! Hi, Logan! Hi, Nate!" she exclaimed, her smile radiant as she took her seat beside me.

Logan, Bennett, and Nate returned her greeting with warm smiles and gentle ruffles of her hair, their affection for her evident in every gesture. It eased a little of my anxiety, at least, since it was a reminder that they cared for Ella and would always put her first the same way that I did. But as they turned their attention back to their plates, a palpable silence descended upon the table, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily in the air.

Mom wasn’t usually the most perceptive. But she knew me well enough to know when something was wrong. Her gaze swept over the room as we started to eat in the silence, her brow furrowing in concern as she sensed the underlying tension. "What's going on, Carly?" she asked, her voice tinged with apprehension.

Fuck, I’d really hoped to finish eating before I followed through with this cockamamie idea I had. At least a full stomach could help calm all those damn butterflies. Right now, they had too much room to flutter around, being annoying. Big girl panties, I reminded myself. Summoning all my courage, I rose from my seat and crossed the room to the side of the table where the guys were sitting, my heart pounding in my chest. I met each of their eyes—gold I’d once thought cold and metallic, warm brown, sweet as chocolate, and finally, the perfect green that had been passed on to my little girl. I cleared my throat.

"I need to tell you all something," I began, my voice steady despite the tumult of emotions swirling within me. "I've been avoiding the truth for too long, but I can't deny how I feel anymore."

Turning to my mother and Dwight, I took a deep breath. "I love these men," I confessed, my voice ringing with conviction. "Logan, Bennett, and Nate—they mean everything to me. I’m… I’m in love with them, and I think they’re in love with me, too. I’m here to tell you that I know this isn’t a by-the-book relationship, that it might be confusing or strange to you, but I'm choosing them over my fears."

Carefully, I reached over to squeeze Logan’s shoulder. My other hand found Nate’s, and his hand came up to cover it, squeezing lightly. That had to be a good sign. I watched Bennett, since I was out of hands, and his face was still unreadable.

My mother’s eyes widened in astonishment, but before she could respond, Dwight chuckled with amusement. "Well, I'll be damned," he remarked, his tone laced with affection. "Looks like we've got ourselves a full house."

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