Page 49 of Stepping Up

"Can I talk to you, Bennett?” she’d asked me before I could duck into my bedroom. I’m not sure whether I knew in the moment what was coming, if I was trying to avoid it, or if I was just tired. I was still getting used to my new work schedule after being idle for the past few weeks.

“Uh, sure, Jodie. What’s up?” I asked her. She gestured for me to follow her into the living room, and I did so without heaving a great sigh, but only with considerable self-control.

She didn’t mince words once we were away from Ella’s door. “So, I just wanted to know, are you planning to step up as Ella’s father and marry Carly now that you're back in their lives?" Her tone was so casual, yet so probing, her eyes searching mine for answers.

God, it was painful to think about now, and I felt myself cringe like I had wanted to in that moment. Instead, I gaped at her, unsure of how to respond. The truth was too complicated, too messy to put into words. "I don't know, Jodie," I had finally admitted, the weight of her question bearing down on me like an anchor. "Things are… complicated between Carly and me."

Jodie had regarded me silently for a moment, her expression unreadable. "Complicated how?" she had pressed, her curiosity piqued.

I had struggled to find the right words, the truth lodged in my throat like a lump of coal. "There are… other factors at play," I had said vaguely, evading her probing gaze. "It's not as simple as just marrying her, even if I wanted to."

Of course, I did want to, but that was beside the point. Jodie didn’t need to hear that now, or maybe ever.

“I know that Carly is… popular,” Jodie started to say, her voice low and slow, “but I really think you’re the best one for her, Bennett. You’re Ella’s father, after all, and Carly has always wanted that perfect picket-fence family. You could give her that better than, say, your brothers could.”

Oh, damn it. Did she think we were fighting over Carly, too? It would be so much easier, in some ways, if I could clear things up for her. How could I explain that this dynamic with Carly felt right? That I wasn’t sure the two of us would even work on our own without Nate and Logan to round out our full family?

As I had looked into Jodie's eyes, so full of understanding and compassion, I had felt a pang of guilt twist in my gut. She deserved to know the truth, to understand the complexities of our relationship with Carly, but the words had remained unspoken, trapped behind a wall of fear and uncertainty.

It was Carly’s secret to tell. And now, I wasn’t sure if she’d ever want to.

Eventually, I forced myself to climb out of the car and make my way up to the front door of Dwight’s picture-perfect house, the familiar tumble of the lock opening an echo in my ears as I turned my key and stepped inside.

"Dad?" I called out, my voice ringing through the house. I couldn’t hit him with a Dwight right now. Not when I was coming to him for a very dad-like purpose.

"Hey, Benny, in here," came the reply from the living room, and I followed the sound of my dad's voice. He was sitting on the couch, his warm smile shining under his gray mustache. He put down the mystery book he’d been reading to give me his attention.

"Hey, Dad," I said, sinking down onto the couch beside him.

Dwight studied me for a moment, his gaze searching. "You look tired, Son," he observed, his voice filled with concern.

"I am," I admitted, running a tired hand through my hair. "It's been a long day."

Dwight nodded sympathetically, his eyes full of understanding. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I hesitated, unsure of how much to share with my dad. But as I looked into his eyes, so full of wisdom and compassion, I found myself opening up to him, the words spilling out in a rush.

"It’s about Carly, and me, and the guys," I confessed, the admission leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. "Things have been… great. Too good, maybe. But I think that scared her, and I’m scared too, and… I don't know how to fix it."

He nodded carefully, mulling this over. “I can’t say I’m an expert on… this kind of relationship, buddy. But I can see how you three light up whenever she and Ella are around, so I can understand how hard this must be.”

Christ, Ella. In all of this, I’d been so worried about losing Carly as a partner, I hadn’t even considered how a rift between the two of us could affect Ella. I knew Carly was too good a mother, too good a person to ever keep me from our daughter again.

“What just went on there?” Dwight asked me, pointing toward my face, which I guess I’d screwed up in distress. “You look like you did that time Nate dared you to eat a spoonful of mayonnaise.”

I let out a laugh that was mostly air, and I figured this was at least a secret that was mine to tell. “Well, another reason it’s complicated, Dad, is because… I’m Ella’s father. Biologically.”

Dwight blinked in surprise. Then he blinked some more. And when he kept blinking rapidly, I sort of worried I’d broken him. He was trapped in a loop, never to stop blinking again.

“Well, that’s… huh. I’m surprised, Son, I can’t say I’m not.”

“Yeah,” I said lamely.

“But now that I think about it, that little girl favors you in a lot of ways. The eyes, obviously, but her little personality, too. So much like a baby Bennett. How did you two…?”

“College,” I answered simply. “I never knew she got pregnant.”

Dad nodded again. “Well. Do you want things to progress the way they were… progressing?”

---