Page 30 of The Pucking Grump

And I will feel like the biggest fool in the world when she returns to her real life. Especially if she decides that she wants to revisit the engagement with Weak Chin. An image of my friends joking around about the wedding while I sit there licking my wounds flashes through my head, and I brush it away, snapping my determination back in place.

No matter what happens, I won’t fuck her. Hell, I also have to make sure she doesn’t do anything to please me, including giving me a blowjob. Once I feel her soft mouth wrapped around my dick, I will be hooked for life.

“Hi Kevin, what’s up?” Faye speaks into the receiver, running her hand through her hair. Every sign of the mischievous seductress who just tortured me is gone, covered under a layer of anxiety.

I have no clue what Kevin is telling her, but Faye blanches a second later. Going over to the phone, I lean into her, managing to hear his voice through the handset.

“. . . so when he got on X, everyone already expected he’d say something awful.”

I don’t need to hear the beginning of that statement to know that the worst is yet to come.

Faye seems to think the same, her knuckles whiten as she grips the phone harder. “What?” she blusters. “What did he say?”

Kevin pauses for a moment. “He said you are suffering from clinical depression. That you’ve had it your entire life, and it has always made it impossible for you to believe in yourself or assume you are enough. Claimed that is the real reason you ran from the wedding.”

Faye’s hands are shaking. Reaching out, I swipe the receiver from her. She doesn’t even fight back, merely sinks onto the couch and stares straight ahead.

“Yeah, thanks for the news,” I say to Kevin. I’ve got no reason to be upset with him, but I am. For the past four days, Faye has blossomed into a happier person than she was when I first met her. And now, with one phone call, she’s back to the trembling, anxious, could-have-been bride.

“I’m sure we’ll—” I almost bite my tongue in haste to correct that word. “She’ll figure out what to do soon.”

“The situation is worse than you think,” Kevin replies urgently, causing Faye’s head to swivel in the direction of his voice. “Yeah, it did have some good sides. Like how the internet mob is a lot more sympathetic toward Faye and all. Everyone is using this as a lesson in mental health. Even some celebrities have shown support, and?—”

“But I’m not mentally ill.” Faye’s voice comes out almost as a shriek. “I’m not, and my father shouldn’t lie about that. The only reason he’s doing it is because he’s still hoping I’ll marry Ben.”

I take a few steps and turn away from Faye, so she can’t hear any more of Kevin’s words. “Again, thanks for the information,” I say, now desperate to hang up. “We’ll . . .” Damnit, what is up with me today? “I’ll . . . She’ll . . . do something about it.”

“Blake,” Kevin says. “She can’t hear this, can she?”

I resist the urge to hang up. “No.”

He takes a deep breath, like he’s figuring out the right words. “I think it’s nice that you’ve kept her stashed away from the world for so long . . .”

“Four days,” I mutter under my breath, annoyance building up in me. Why the hell is Kevin sounding as if I orchestrated this whole scheme and am not merely the passerby that got dragged into the drama?

“Well, that’s about five months in internet time. The latest single Faye released was certified platinum in about twelve hours. That’s how hungry her fans are for her. They need her to be out here, saying something about the situation. Sure, everything her dad is doing is beyond creepy. But it’s working . . . for now. In a day or two, people are going to stop believing him and find other ways of discovering the truth for themselves. I wouldn’t be too surprised if you started getting unwelcome guests around your home.”

“Is that a threat?” Kevin is the only person who even knows Faye’s whereabouts.

He lets out a sigh of exasperation. “I’m on your side, buddy. And I’m on hers. But I can see clearly from here. You keeping her with you isn’t going to help her career one bit.”

I glance at Faye, making sure she’s deeply distracted by her thoughts, before stealing away from the living area and going into the kitchen. There, I release the fit of anger building up in me at Kevin’s words.

“You’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.”

He sounds detached. “I’m just saying that maybe rooming with Faye makes it difficult for you to realize what I’m talking about.”

Did Kevin just insinuate that I have a crush on her and therefore hesitate to send her back into her real life, or am I completely misunderstanding him?

I grip the phone tightly. “I gave her a place to stay after that horrid affair. And I encouraged her to avoid watching TV because she was already enough of a mess when she got here.” I don’t know why I’m this focused on rationalizing myself to Kevin, but I need him to know I’m not as attached to Faye as he thinks.

“Well then, you’ve got to revise your thinking. Unless Faye wants to come back to the real world still engaged to that moron and now also people believing lies about her having depression, she’s got to release a statement or something on her Instagram. Maybe it’s time to tell people her real story.” He pauses with a sigh. “You’ve got to get that through to her. Let her see what the media is trolling about. She’s got to face the music and come back out. People are obsessed with news of her.”

Kevin hangs up. I stare at the phone, dull ringing in my ears. My anger grows, spiraling until it’s filling every inch of my body. I have always been fond of Kevin, but right now, I’m more pissed off at him than I would have believed possible. At his damned presumptuousness. At his belief that I’m infatuated with Faye. At the fact that he thinks I’m making a mistake by keeping her off the grid.

I stride back into the living room. Faye looks up when she sees me, her eyes red-rimmed.

“What did he say?”

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