Page 111 of Love for a Lifetime

“The appointment tomorrow is to talk about what type of surgery my doctor thinks I should have.”

Dawson’s nostrils flared as he tried to suck in enough air to calm his racing heart. “There are different kinds? What’s the difference? Do these doctors know what they’re doing?”

Olivia laughed quick and sharp. “Yeah, I think they know what they’re doing. You can breathe. They’re not really dangerous surgeries.”

“Sorry. I’m panicking a little.” That was an understatement. He was freaking out on the inside. Completely losing his cool. “Can you break it down in simple terms for me? What would these surgeries do?”

“The minor option is a procedure I’ve done before. They basically scrape out a lot of the tissue that’s not where it’s supposed to be. Cleaning things out. It could come back, like it has before.”

She’d done this before? How had he not known?

“I kept it a secret. Stop overthinking it.”

“I’m definitely overthinking it. I see you all the time.”

“It was years ago.”

“Still, I would have noticed.”

“I told everyone I was sick. I rested and recovered quickly. I mentioned that it’s pretty minor.”

Dawson rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the sticky clamminess of his skin. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice. I could have been there for you. I could have–”

“I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s kind of a personal thing. No woman wants to explain to her neighbors and friends that she has a disease that’s particular to the female reproductive system.”

Dawson scanned back through their years together. When and how had she completely hidden this from him and everyone else?

“The other option is a form of a hysterectomy. It’s a common surgery, but…” She shrugged and looked down at their linked hands. “But that means I can’t have kids.”

Dawson stared at her, waiting for some other information that would erase what she’d just said.

Olivia wouldn’t be able to have kids.

He couldn’t breathe–couldn’t move. Everything in the room blurred except for Olivia’s face as he focused on her.

Of all the things she could have told him, this was completely unexpected. He wanted kids. He knew she wanted kids. The magnitude of what she was dealing with choked him like unrelenting hands around his neck.

A sob broke from Olivia’s chest. She pressed a hand to her mouth as her shoulders shook.

Dawson scooped her up in his arms and moved her to his lap. Her head pressed against his shoulder as she cried. A gut-wrenching cry that split him open.

He wrapped his arms around her, shielding her from the reality closing in around them.

“Can I go with you? Tomorrow?” he asked.

Olivia didn’t answer. She wailed and cried until her frame rested limp against him.

When her tears slowed, he asked again. “Can I go with you?”

“I don’t know.” She wiped at her nose with her sleeve. “I–I don’t know what this means for us. I know you want…” She sucked in a shaky breath. “I know you want kids.”

“I know you want kids too, but if that isn’t in the cards for us, then it isn’t.”

“How can you say that?” she asked with a wail. “This is a huge deal. If we get further into this and you decide you want kids, it’ll just be harder for both of us.”

Dawson leaned to the side and lifted her chin with a finger. “Olivia, I’m so far into this there’s no going back. This is a shock, but I already told you there’s nothing we can’t get through together.”

She heaved a fractured breath. “Just because this is my fate doesn’t mean it has to be yours. You’d make a great dad, and I can’t…”

---