Page 175 of One Wrong Move

“Yes,” I say. Weeks ago, at a bar right in this area.

“You were wrong. Because the only woman I want is you. I love you, Harper. I’ve loved you for years.”

I blink a few times. “You love me?”

“Yes,” he says, that small crooked smile on his face. “I love you, Harper Elliot. And it’s been so fucking inconvenient from the start, but that hasn’t stopped me. My love for you has only grown. Ever since I saw you at that bar four years ago, I’ve felt like you’ve held my heart in your hands.”

I can’t breathe. “You’ve… all these years?”

“Yes. Even when I knew I shouldn’t. That it was hopeless. You didn’t care about me or even noticed me. I knew you were in love with Dean, living with him. And not even seeing his engagement ring on your finger, knowing you were going to marry him, made it possible for me to stop loving you.”

His eyes are determined, and there’s a pained sheen to them that cuts me to the core. “Every stolen moment I could get, I took. Dinners at Dean’s, always hoping you’d be there. His stupid summer parties. The bar hangouts.”

“That must have been so hard,” I whisper.

“Yeah, I felt like I was dying each time. But I couldn’t stop, and the more I got to know you, the more I wanted you. It reached a point where…”

“Where what?”

“I moved to London.”

I shake my head slowly. “You couldn’t have moved here because of me.”

“Dean told me that he was planning to propose to you. I knew, right then and there, that I needed to bury these emotions. That you were going to say yes to him and start a life together—something I couldn’t bring myself to stand by and watch. So I pitched the idea of having a Connovan in our European office to my brother. I visited London plenty of times. It made sense.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

He smiles, but it’s humorless. “Don’t be. My emotions were mine to suffer. And as much as it hurt, I’ve never regretted meeting you.”

“I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have… I didn’t know.” It feels like my chest is too tight, too small to fit all the feelings rushing through me. I can’t name them all. Can’t parse through the maelstrom.

“When I found out that you and Dean had broken up…” His deep voice sounds hoarse now, and almost shaky around the edges. “I felt like an asshole for feeling relieved. For thinking that at least, at least, I wouldn’t have to see him with you in the upcoming decades. Wouldn’t have to know that, even being so unworthy of you, he was still allowed to be at your side… And then, suddenly, you were in London.

“And I just wanted to see that you were all right. That was what I told myself, that I needed to make sure you were okay. To help in any possible way. Help you settle in. Be your friend. And we did become good friends.”

“I valued that so much,” I whisper. “All the trips we did, the crazy nights, the experiences.”

His lips soften into a smile. “So did I. It reminded me what it was like to have fun. I stopped having fun, somehow, over the last five years or so. Put that away like it was a summer jacket in the winter months. But you brought it all back. And then… we became more than friends.”

I nod. “We did. It wasn’t planned on my part. It was just so easy, and felt so right, and…” My voice breaks, and I have to clear my throat. “I started falling for you.”

Nate’s eyes are devastating. There’s pain there, and such want that it makes my tight chest flush with heat. “I know you were. Until I ruined it.”

“You didn’t ruin it.” The damn inside of me breaks. A tear rolls down my cheek. “You couldn’t ruin it. I want this. I want you, and I forgave you days ago.”

“You did?” he breathes.

I nod shakily. “Yes. Of course. It’s just, this feels terrifying, Nate. All of this. Despite it being everything I want.”

This seems like a terrible confession.

His large hand covers mine on the table. “I know it does. Your last relationship was stifling.”

“I can’t live like that again,” I say. “What if I want to… after London… What if I want to move to Paris for six months? Or to Tokyo? What if I want to get a dog or go back to school or not get married for ten years? I might want those things.”

Nate’s smile widens. “Then that’s exactly what you’ll do.”

“But what about us? If there’s an us. I never want to hurt you, either, and?—”

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