Page 98 of The Perfect Mistake

“Oh.”

“But I had an identity, sweetheart. I had two others. I was a new father and a Connovan. It kept me going. You have other identities, too.”

“They’re feeling really weak at the moment.”

“Of course they are. But you’ll find them. You’re a sister and a daughter. You’re a friend. You’re a hard worker. You’re kind.” He says the last word like it pains him, his thumb smoothing over my lower lip. “You’ll land on your feet. People always do, even if it hurts like hell to get there.”

I take a shaky breath. “You did.”

“Did I?” he asks. But there’s a trace of wry humor in his voice. “Yes, I suppose I did. We all did.”

“I can’t imagine how hard that must have been. Two kids, and all on your own.”

He looks at the curve of my ear, his fingers brushing over the shell. “Sam was only six months old when she passed, and I became the CEO a year after that.”

“I can’t believe you juggled it both. I can’t believe you still do.”

“Well, I don’t do it very well, according to you,” he says with a lift of his lips. There’s no accusation in his voice. Just calm acceptance.

I shake my head. “No, no, you do. It’s impressive. You’re impressive.”

“I have help. Including you, and you’re the impressive one. The kids haven’t broken you yet. I’m the one who’s in awe.”

I trace my fingers over his face. Along his temple, along the dark eyebrows. Down to the five o’clock shadow that makes him look older, and rougher somehow. I love it when he doesn’t shave. “You didn’t smile the first few years I knew you,” I murmur.

His eyebrows lower. “I didn’t?”

I shake my head. “It’s still rare today. But in the beginning… I got the feeling that you were carrying a lot inside. Holding it all in.”

Alec releases a long breath and closes his eyes. And I realize with horror what I’ve just said. There are several things he’s made clear from the start. We don’t talk about his dead wife; we don’t talk about his grief; and he’s not in the market for a relationship.

But then he opens his eyes again. “I think you do, too,” he says.

“Maybe that’s why I recognized it in you.”

He sweeps his thumb over my other cheek, wiping away the last remnants of my tears. The tip of it lands on my lips, moving in slow circles. “Do you want space tonight?”

I shake my head. “No. Don’t leave.”

“I won’t.” He pulls my head down and brushes his lips over mine. It’s a gentle kiss at first, but it quickly deepens. I want to drown myself in these emotions and leave the others behind, at least for now.

I unbutton his shirt and slide my fingers over his chest. I love raking my nails over this skin. It always makes him groan, and he does it now, too. It’s one of my favorite sounds.

His hand tunnels into my hair, and the other moves over my thigh, hitching it more firmly over his hips.

But then he lifts his lips from mine. “I’m sorry. You’re sad.”

“I want you,” I murmur. My free hand finds the belt on his pants and plays with the buckle.

He exhales hoarsely. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He turns us over, cradling me in his arms. “Well then,” he says and bends to kiss me again. “Let me make you feel better.”

He takes off my clothes, one item at a time, until I’m stretched naked beneath him. Alec drops kisses over my skin with a dedication I’m becoming used to. He never does anything halfway. He pushes my legs apart and kisses my inner thighs, his fingers stroking along my slit.

I close my eyes and relax into the feelings. He likes to do this. He’s told me, and judging by the way he groans when he licks me, that’s still true. He kisses me with open-mouthed gentleness.

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