Page 71 of The Perfect Mistake

Sleeping had been hard. I replayed my own words and heard how harsh they sounded, and still… the larger part of me didn’t regret them. I understand that he’s in a tough position. That the company is important to him. But that doesn’t mean he can’t acknowledge his kids’ feelings more often.

And to be fair, the wealth Alec and Connie have… he doesn’t have to work. I understand the compulsion, but it’s not a necessity. And his kids will know that soon enough, too.

I don’t know the last time someone spoke up around him. Told him something that wasn’t positive, or encroaching on the carefully maintained walls he had erected around his life.

I have a sinking suspicion that it’s not something he tolerates.

I shift onto my side and start the leg raises, using a resistance band. The movement is as familiar as breathing. I had an old teacher who would make us do these until we collapsed, our muscles quivering. The first person who stopped was always punished.

That teacher wasn’t particularly well-liked.

If I were to teach… how would I do it? Because Alec was right. Learning a skill isn’t always fun, but that’s not why we do it. If the only thing we chase in life is brief dopamine hits, we’ll never achieve anything worthwhile. But there has to be a middle ground somewhere.

The door to the gym opens.

I startle, my leg lowering. It’s Alec.

He’s in his workout shorts and a T-shirt. There’s a towel slung over his shoulder and an earbud in his left ear. There’s so much of him I’ve never seen before. Strong, thick forearms and biceps. Long legs and muscular calves.

His expression tightens when he sees me. He takes out his earbud. “Hey.”

I sit up. “Hi.”

“Okay if I join?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s your gym,” I say.

He nods. Looks like he’s about to say something else, but heads to the treadmill instead. Turns it on. It puts him right across from me, and I don’t know what to do with my hands or my feet. I try to lie back and focus on the exercise I’m doing, but it’s hard to think of anything but Alec in the room.

He starts walking at a brisk pace.

I technically have more reps and three more exercises left to complete, but any tranquility from my workout is gone in an instant. I grab my water bottle and take a long sip instead.

The bare skin of my arms and legs tingles. Is he watching me? I don’t dare look over to see if it’s true.

“You recorded yesterday,” he says. “Willa’s performance.”

I nod, then look at him anyway. “Yes. I’ll send it to you later today.”

He is watching me. “I was late because of traffic.”

“Yeah. I understand,” I say.

“But that’s not an excuse. It’s New York. There’s always traffic, and I should have factored that in.”

My eyes widen. “Yes, that… yeah.”

“What you said, about Willa seeking my… approval. You really meant that?”

I nod again. “God, yes. She loves you very much. Idolizes you, really.”

He looks like he doesn’t know what to do with that. But he doesn’t look away from me either, and there’s a small crack in the composed facade.

“You don’t need to make big changes,” I say. “You’re a great dad. But… maybe a few more core memories. Practice piano with her sometimes. Let her watch you play. Take a trip to Disneyland, tell them you’re proud of them and that you love them. Do a few things like that… and they’ll be golden. You have great kids.”

He looks away, out the window of his apartment. At the city that is just starting to wake. “Yeah. They sure are.”

I clear my throat. “Maybe I should apologize for telling you all of that last night, though? I know it wasn’t my place. Didn’t mean to imply that you’re a bad dad. You’re not.”

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