Page 132 of The Perfect Mistake

“Oh. How?”

“Aneurysm,” I say. “Their youngest was just a baby, only a few months old when it happened.”

“Shit. I can see how that would be traumatic.” She cracks her knuckles, frowning in thought. “But he’s not using you or anything? ’Cause I can’t have that.”

“No, of course not.”

“Good. And you’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Good,” she says again. “Because I know that some of your ballet teachers treated you and the other dancers awfully. I don’t want you to have normalized that shit and expect it in your relationships now, or something twisted like that.”

I blink at her. “Elena, I haven’t. Not at all.”

She holds her hands up. “Okay. It was up to me to ask, you know. As a sister and your only family member in on this secret affair. I’d feel honored that you told me if it wasn’t for the fact that I guessed.” She frowns. “You know, I can almost see it. He’s sort of hot, in a very straight, very old kind of way. Like that strong silent type of masculinity.”

I groan. “He’s not old.”

“Sure.”

Her comment about our parents lodges in my mind like a thorn, and I can’t quite get it out. “I wish I could be more like you,” I say.

She’s quiet for a moment. “What do you mean?” she asks in a voice that holds none of her usual bravado.

“You’ve always been so brave,” I say. “Like, you don’t care about what anyone thinks or says about you. From your piercing that Mom cried all night about, to dropping out of college, and now pursuing stand-up. You get up on that stage every time and you kill it. I wish I could have some of that right now.”

Elena just looks at me. Then she laughs a little and looks down at her hands on her lap. “That’s not at all how I see it.”

“It’s not? You’ve always been so fearless.”

“You’re the one who paved the way,” she says. “Seb and I had a big sister who pushed herself every single day to be the best she could be. We saw you up and stretching before breakfast, or running on the weekends and practicing choreo. I sat in the audience when I was twelve and saw you perform absolute perfection in front of thousands of people.” She half laughs. “You’ve been the fearless one. I’ve just tried to follow suit. Well, I knew I could never be as hardworking or as graceful as you are, so I went a different route. Seb and I were always going to be less successful than you, in comparison. Why even try to please people, then?”

I’m up and out of my chair before she finishes her last sentence, sitting down next to her on the bed. “You’re not going to be less successful than me. That’s crazy.”

She shrugs a bit, and smiles. “You’re the family’s crowning achievement. All of us, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, always talk so fondly of you.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I never realized how that would impact you, or Seb. Recently, I’ve discovered that I did that a lot. Gave everything to dancing and nothing to life outside of it.”

“Don’t say sorry. You were a great role model.”

“God, I didn’t even think about being a role model. I was just a teenager with a single-minded goal.” I lie back on my bed with a sigh.

Elena flops next to me, both of us staring up at the ceiling.

“Maybe,” she says, “you need to get used to doing things that won’t get you a standing ovation. Stop performing, and start living.”

I focus on the overhead lights. “That sounded poetic.”

“I did a semester of English Literature before I dropped out,” she says. “Some of it stuck.”

I chuckle. Turn to look at her, so familiar and somehow all grown up. “You’re telling me to ignore what people think?”

“Yes,” she says immediately. “Even me. What I said earlier about Alec being old? So what if I think that? What do you think?”

I smile. “Mom and Dad will really freak, if this becomes a serious relationship.”

“They will,” she says matter-of-factly. “At least at first. But then, I’m sure it’ll end up being another thing you overachieve in. Seb and I might just date around, or find normal partners, but not Isabel. You just had to land a billionaire.”

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