Page 130 of The Perfect Mistake

“She just died!” I say. The words explode in the quiet room.

Her eyes widen. “Oh.”

“One hour she was alive and well, and the next, she was gone.” I snap my fingers. The sound echoes in the space between us. “No warnings, no goodbyes. I barely handled it the first time. I won’t survive it again. Never again.”

“Alec…”

I shake my head. “I won’t. Those guys… I want to kill them.”

“No, you don’t,” she says. “You won’t say the same thing tomorrow.”

I run a hand through my hair. “I’m not so sure about that. You feel like a part of me, one I never knew I needed. An infinitely better part, and I can’t lose you. The idea of never hearing you laugh again or seeing you smile or feeling…” I shake my head, trying and failing to clear it. The anger is still palpable. “I can’t handle it.”

She steps closer. “Alec,” she whispers again. “It’s scary, caring for someone new.”

I don’t say anything. I don’t think I can.

She wraps her arms around my waist and presses herself close, her graceful body melting into mine. I feel the hardness of her nipples through her thin camisole. Smell the floral scent of her soap and shampoo. Feel the warmth of her skin.

I close my eyes and run my hands over her head, her shoulders, down to the small of her back. It’s bigger than I knew it was. This. Her. Us. Bigger than I feel comfortable with.

“You knew my number by heart?” I ask.

“I memorized it when I started working for you,” she says. “It’s in the nanny contract you had me sign, to make sure I could always contact you on behalf of the kids.”

“Oh. That’s good. Smart.”

She smiles against my shoulder. “Yeah. I take it you weren’t even aware of that.”

“I read it, but that was years ago. Come here. I need you,” I say against her hair. “More than I’ve ever needed anyone. But…”

“I get it.” Her cheek is pressed against my shoulder, her voice a soft mumble. “It means you could end up hurt again. Just like I might.”

Slipping a hand beneath her tank top, my palm flattens against the smooth skin of her back. “Yes.”

“That risk is the price we pay for caring about someone,” she says. “Are you willing to pay it?”

I just hold her for a few long moments. Then, I tip her head back and touch my lips to hers. The need to be close to her that has been scorching beneath my skin flares to life, to feel her and know she’s safe and sound.

I don’t know, I want to say.

But my hands and my lips say something else. I don’t know if I have a choice anymore.

She twines her arms around my neck. “Take me to your bed,” she whispers.

I lift her, and she clings to me on the way to my room. And once we’re beneath the sheets, she presses her naked body so tight against mine that I feel the beating of her heart.

I don’t know if I can handle the pain of losing her.

But I can’t let her go, either.

Isabel

“You didn’t sleep in your own room last night, and I saw how he touched you yesterday.” My sister crosses her arms over her chest. “Tell me the truth. What’s going on here?”

I roll my eyes at her. “Elena.”

“Isabel,” she says. She’s sitting cross-legged on my bed, still wearing the oversized shirt I lent her as pj's . “You were always a terrible liar.”

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