His thumbs sweep in low circles over my hips, absently, and I’m not sure he knows he’s doing it. “For my own sake… of course. In the first years. There was a very clear hole in the center of our family, in this damn penthouse that she helped pick out, and I tried to patch it the best I could.”
“You’ve done great. Katja, Mac? The routines you’ve built?” I think of the schedule on the fridge, the dinners he tries to never miss, and the bedtime stories he reads. “You’ve done it.”
“Maybe. I tried,” he says. He leans forward, resting his forehead against mine. “You said that you’ve tried to be perfect for twenty years?”
“Yeah,” I murmur.
“Well, I’ve done it for twice that long,” he says. “And the last few years, I’ve been failing in every possible way. I suspect I’ll fail with you, sweetheart, and that pains me more than I can say. But I’ll handle it. Because stopping this…” He kisses me, his lips brushing over mine in the faintest of touches. “It would kill me. You’ve become my happiness, Isabel.”
I slide my hands up to his neck. “Then don’t stop.”
“Don’t leave,” he murmurs against my lips. His voice sounds hoarse. “Promise me you won’t without talking to me.”
“I promise,” I whisper.
He stands with me in his arms, and I lock my legs behind his back. He carries me down the hall in the opposite direction of his bedroom. I help him push open the door to my suite.
“Stay,” he says, and kisses my shirt off me. Running his hands up my body in a slow, reverent caress.
I shiver at the need in his touch and can only answer one thing. “I will.”
Alec
It’s late.
Late, and she’s not home. I shouldn’t worry, but I do anyway, sitting in bed with my laptop open, doing some work. The kids have long since fallen asleep, and the apartment is quiet, the lights are out. My door is ajar. I want to be able to hear when she gets back.
Her sister had another comedy show tonight. Isabel had been excited to go, getting ready while I lay on her bed and tormented her with questions about the latest read on her Kindle.
Do you really have a fantasy where you’re tied up? Not specifically, but I like the dominance aspect of it. Have you ever wanted to try role play? I think it could be fun.
Every answer she’d given, she’d been blushing. Smiling. Giving me responses that increased my understanding of her, and made me unable to take my eyes off her. Off her smile and her infectious joy.
It’s Mac’s weekend off, so she’d taken a taxi. She’ll grab one home, too. Still, by now it’s nearly midnight, and she hasn’t texted or called.
I shut down the laptop and rub my eyes. A part of me wanted to go with her. Grab a beer or two and sit in the corner of the comedy club with my arm around her, watching Isabel cheer on her sister. To feel her lean into me, laugh together. Whisper things in her ear. To simply be with her in a place where we could just be us, a couple out on a town.
It struck me as unbelievably fun… and just plain unbelievable. I didn’t even suggest it to her. Couldn’t imagine her agreeing. I didn’t have another babysitter, either.
And won’t that always be the case? I’ll never be able to do those things with her unless I find an alternate babysitter. Never going to be free to date her in that fun, uncomplicated way.
My phone rings.
I grab it immediately. I don’t recognize the number, but after a second, I hit the green button anyway.
“Hello.”
“Alec? Hi. It’s Isabel.” Her voice is rushed, and there’s bustle behind her, like she’s on a very busy street.
“Isa? Where are you?”
“I’m with my sister. We were just robbed.”
“What?”
“I’m calling from a passerby’s phone. Can you order us a rideshare? I… I don’t know where we should go. Can—”
“Come home,” I say. “Your sister, too, or I can drive her to her place.”