Page 47 of The Companion Love Trap

“Kieran? I… I… I don’t understand.”

She wobbled on her feet, and I bolted up, reaching her before she fell over.

“Mo Chuisle.” Emotion clogged my throat as I tried to find the words. “I’ll explain everything.”

I carried her over to the piano, setting her on the bench with me. She didn’t pull away, her proximity giving me the necessary courage. I cupped her cheek, her eyes searching mine, looking for the answer she already knew.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. I didn’t know how. It was why I was so scared at the airport. Not because I didn’t want you there, but because I was worried you wouldn’t like me if you knew. Playing with you is my favorite thing in the world.”

Everly didn’t say anything, staying quieter than I’d ever heard her be. She turned on the bench, her fingers falling to the keys as she started a melody. I knew the song, so I joined in with her, trading off as we did at Howlers sometimes.

Somehow it was even more intense now, with no barriers between us as we created music as ourselves, no secret identities to protect us. When the song ended, I stared at her and tried to decipher the emotions in her eyes.

“I…” She shook her head and stood. “I just need time to think.”

Everly took off, the door shutting behind her and leaving me and my battered heart behind. I stared at the door, hoping she’d return and knowing I’d be a lesser man if she didn’t.

fifteen

EVERLY

After waking up in Cruz’s bed, I’d decided to take a walk to clear my mind. When I first heard the notes to one of the songs I’d played with Phantom at Howlers, I assumed I was sleepwalking. My feet continued down the path as I followed the music like the Pied Piper was calling me. Stumbling into that room and finding Phantom playing the piano had sent my heart racing, and I pinched myself to make sure I really wasn’t sleepwalking.

Euphoria engulfed me.

Phantom was here.

On this ship with my other guys.

That was when it hit me. I’d called them my guys. I’d run from attachments for so long, yet they’d still caught me in the end.

What did it all mean? Would the others understand Phantom joining?

My feet had been rooted in place as I watched, my body unable to move as I listened to the music he played. Fear I’d lose this magical reality Cruz and Jace believed in coated my skin, sweat gathering as my breathing quickened. My heart hurt at the thought, but I knew I couldn’t start anything without Phantom. I’d have to find a way for them to accept him, too.

His name slipped off my tongue when the music ended before I could stop myself. I had to know if this was real or a vivid hallucination of my subconsciousness.

“Phantom?”

His head snapped up, and the air lodged in my throat as the man who’d revived my passion for music stared at me. His hood had fallen with the move, and pale blue eyes pierced into me. I’d know them anywhere, but I still didn’t trust myself.

“Kieran?”

My brain broke. My usual chatty self had lost the ability to speak as everything crashed over itself in my mind as it tried to find how I’d missed this. How had I not known? Was everyone in on this joke? Was it all an elaborate plan?

His hands pulled me over to the piano before I could run away, his words floating over me as he explained. I still didn’t know how to speak, so I turned and let my hands do the talking for me and played a song. Kieran joined in, and the rhythm between us fell into place as the trickle of connection we had exploded into a stream of passion, like someone had found the release valve, opening it up entirely.

My heart pounded as my body vibrated from the music. I was utterly bare now; my shields and walls had fallen, making me the most vulnerable I’d ever been. The need to touch him and cement everything between us rode me hard, and I had to physically restrain myself.

Could I do this? Everything would change from this moment on if I did.

Kieran’s eyes held so much emotion I didn’t know how to take it. He looked at me like I was the sun, but I worried I’d catch him on fire.

Spouting off something about time, I fled from him and back to Cruz’s room. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make myself go to sleep or forget about the lost look on Kieran’s face as I ran.

I thought with all my rules and boundaries that I’d be able to protect myself and prove I could choose a better life for myself. But what good were rules if you hurt not only others, but yourself?

I’d worn many hats and labels in my life, but I never thought coward would be one of them.

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