Page 58 of One Night With The Nanny

“Says the man who has run rings around every therapist he’s ever met. Your parents literally wrote the books on relationships, parenting, and child psychology, and you’re asking me why I’m reading into everything you say?”

“Why are you making a big deal about this?” Reid asked loudly, his temper igniting.

“Why aren’t you?” Gavin countered angrily as he stood. “Someone worthy has finally managed to breach the wall and capture your fickle attention but you’re still fighting him for all you’re worth. And I am worried that you’ll regret it forever if you blow this with Max. He’s perfect for you and you’re wild about each other but you’re too stubborn. You dragged everyone around you kicking and screaming into their happily ever afters, but you shut down the moment you have to change or compromise.”

“That’s the thing, though!” Reid rose so they were almost eye-level and so he could pace. “Fin and Riley and Penn and Morris and Penny and you and Dash… Each of you were missing something and you were all waiting for answers. I already have everything I need!” He waved around them, then reached for Gavin. He gripped his shoulders and gave Gavin a shake. “We made a pact when we were eight and you never forgot. You risked everything to protect me and keep us all safe. I love the life we’ve built and you’re right: I won’t compromise or change if it means I can’t be here for you and our family.” He tried to pull Gavin into a hug but he held Reid off.

“First of all, I didn’t risk all that much. I was safe and I was happy because I was with you. But I didn’t do it so we could grow old and crotchety and eccentric together. That sounds lonely and rather pathetic,” he scolded, making Reid grin.

“That’s why we have Dash. We’re complete now,” he said and stopped Gavin before he could argue. “Dash has a once-in-a-lifetime kind of heart. Most men wouldn’t understand our weird brolationship or be able to share their partner like that. We’re lucky to have him and our lives feel so balanced now. I’m not going to blow all of this for something that doesn’t even make sense.”

Gavin stared at Reid for a long moment, looking baffled. “How do you know Max doesn’t understand? He’s already aware of our relationship and seems to like that you’re a colossal pain in the ass about everything unless you get your way.”

“You have no idea how much he likes that…” Reid said under his breath, then laughed when Gavin’s face pinched. “Max is realizing that the best thing he can be is himself and he deserves someone who has space in their life and can make him their first priority.” Reid held up his hands and shrugged. “I can’t do that. I don’t think I want to.”

“Truly?” Gavin stared hard at Reid, his dormant temper sparking as well. “Do you truly expect me to believe any of that?” he asked, sneering in disbelief. “I’m still here because I love you, not because we made a silly pact to ‘never ever let anything come between us until the day we both died.’” He jabbed a finger at Reid. “You’re hiding because you’ve found something you really, really want but you’re too afraid you’ll have to give something up.”

“Fine!” Reid shouted. “I want Max. Are you happy now?” he demanded and punched at the air as his fury erupted. “I want him and I need him and I love him but I can’t let this happen!”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t love him more than you! I can’t!” Reid screamed and smeared the tears from his cheeks. “I can’t love him more than you and I can’t love him more than this,” he said as he pointed at the living room. “This is all I’ve ever wanted and it’s who I am.”

“I know!” Gavin grabbed Reid by the back of the neck and pulled him into a tight embrace. “You can love him until you’re blue in the face and you explode, but you’re still going to love me and you’re still going to be a picky, controlling pain in the ass. Love Max all you want. It won’t change you, you’re too damn stubborn, and I’ll always be here.”

“You’re right,” Reid choked out, holding onto Gavin. “But even if I could get over that part, I don’t know about the rest of it, all the madness that comes with him. I can’t see how dating a royal doesn’t change everything and that’s something I’m not sure I’m willing to risk,” he confided and Gavin hushed him.

“Look at how we changed when Fin married Walker and Riley married Giles. We even managed to absorb Agnes Cameron into the family without any casualties,” he said, making Reid laugh.

“I’d like to sue her for damages,” he said. “Physical and emotional. And she may have done irreparable harm to my reputation if I end up murdering her over this.”

“You’re just upset because she outmaneuvered you and beat you at your own game,” Gavin accused, patting Reid on the back as he released him. “Let’s lock this up before Dash returns,” he said as he wiped his cheeks and smoothed his tie on his way to his armchair.

“God, I’ll scream if he starts up the ‘hug machine’ or makes us hold hands,” Reid said and scrubbed his face with the cuffs of his sweatshirt. He grimaced down at himself, accepting that he really was in a bad way if this was how he planned to spend the rest of his Saturday evening. His favorite Columbia sweatshirt, joggers, and chunkiest gray socks were usually reserved for serious colds and he’d lived in them when he was mourning Michelle. “I’ll get Agnes for this,” he grumbled as he went back to his seat at the table.

“Just think about what I said. He deserves a chance and you deserve a prince, Reid,” Gavin said with a slight bow, before lowering into his chair and opening his book.

“That’s what Fin said and it’s not the compliment you all think it is. This would be much simpler if Max wasn’t a prince,” Reid said with a shake of his head.

“Have you considered talking to Max about it? I believe he invited you to his big birthday slash retirement gala.”

Reid shot him an irritated look. “What’s the difference between a prince and a former prince?” he challenged. “Max and his girls will be unpacking their multi-generational trauma along with the wealth and attention that comes with being former royals for the rest of their lives. That doesn’t scare me and part of me wants to be the one to fix them and help make that family whole again. But I don’t want to sacrifice anything to do it, so I don’t know if that makes me worthy.”

“I really wish you’d stop making decisions on Max’s behalf and talk to him.”

“That’s the point of no return and exactly what I wanted to avoid,” Reid said sadly. “He’s made it very clear that he’s willing to compromise and he wants to know my terms. What if they are ‘none’ because I don’t want more than what we already have? I don’t want anyone else and I would happily hand over my nights and my body, but what if I have nothing else to offer?”

Gavin made a thoughtful sound as his thumb tapped against the book’s spine. “That’s one tactic you could try… Have you considered not bluffing and just having an honest, adult conversation? Tell him you’re scared and explain why. I think he’ll understand and that this could be a lot simpler and less painful than you’re expecting.”

“I’m not scared,” Reid said with an indignant snort, then snapped open his laptop when he heard Dash in the hallway and ducked behind the screen. “And I’m not bluffing,” he whispered.

“I’d believe you if those pants didn’t have an elastic waist and you weren’t wearing so much polyester,” Gavin said and clicked his teeth as the front door opened and Dash came in, singing about baby ducks and flowers in the park.

“I’m back!” he announced, holding up a bag of to-go containers and grinning at Gavin. “Want to watch a movie while we eat dinner, then make out in our room?”

Gavin sat up, alert as he tossed his book on the coffee table. “I have a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge. You pick the movie while I get it,” he said excitedly.

“You pick! It takes me forever,” Dash complained.

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