Page 59 of My Fake Fiancé

“I think the best closure for you two would be just straight up ignoring each other for the rest of your lives. Just forget about him,” she adds and I nod. It makes sense but part of me is still holding onto him.

“I don’t plan on starting a relationship with him again. I just want to hear him out. I think I owe him that, at least,” I tell her as she drags me into her room.

“No,” Tatyana stops in her tracks and faces me, pointing her finger at me and fixing me with a stern stare. “You literally owe him nothing. You have done way too much for that sad sack of a human being and there is no way that you owe him anything more in this life.”

Tears prick the corners of my eyes and I want to look down but her stare is so direct that I can’t look away. “You’re right,” I admit eventually. Tatyana nods and stares at me for a few more seconds before pulling me the rest of the way into her room to find outfits for tonight.

When we get to the club, Tatyana is able to finesse our way to the front of the line and we are let in without issue. I don’t question her tactics and instead try to enjoy the night out. I want to listen to music and have fun with my friend and forget about the two men in my life for as long as I can.

The drinks start flowing, coming from men around us and I quietly trade a few of them for water or a Dr. Pepper, often sliding the other beverages to Tatyana. After only an hour we have to start rejecting drinks because she has had too much. We are both chugging glasses of water and have visited the sketchy bathroom once already. There were a lot of other girls that Tatyana spilled my situation to. Everyone was offering advice and sympathizing with the dilemma. A lot of them could relate to what happened. Well, not the fake fiancé part, but the not wanting to let go of a guy so suddenly.

We leave the bathroom with Tatyana giving me an ‘I told you so’ face. I roll my eyes at her and sidestep her when she tries to dance around me.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” Tatyana yells over the music in the club. She leans against me to shout into my ear and I flinch away. She backs off a bit with a grimace. “Sorry, but you should be out dancing and enjoying yourself.”

“You know this was never really my thing,” I shout back at her and she shrugs then gestures for me to join her on the dance floor, wiggling her fingers at me while she shakes her hips. I laugh and shake my head at her but she keeps it up until I give in.

I finish the rest of my water, setting the glass on the nearby table before letting Tatyana lead me out onto the dance floor. There are not that many people dancing but that doesn’t stop us from having fun. I let myself lose control and we dance wildly together. I know we are getting a few strange looks but most people are supportive and one of the girl groups that was in the bathroom comes and joins us on the floor. We dance until we are practically panting, my lungs screaming at me to take a break.

The bar calls my name and I get a fresh glass of water, chugging half the glass while I try to spot Tatyana on the dance floor. I thought she was right next to me but I guess we got separated when the other girls joined us. I finally spot her making friends and dash off to join her, bringing the water with me.

I thrust the glass into her hand when I reach her and she finishes the water, smiling gratefully at me. She introduces me to the group when she is done drinking the water. Her temple is beaded with sweat but she is still bouncing on the balls of her feet, always filled with energy.

“T.” I tug on her arm to get her attention back. “I’m ready to go,” I tell her when she turns to face me.

“Yeah, I think I’m getting there too. One more song?” Tatyana suggests right as a throwback song comes on. She grins at me and shimmies her shoulders to entice me. I laugh and shake my head at her but dance my way back out onto the floor while she cheers and follows me.

Before long, the song is over and we are headed back home, crashing into our apartment while trying to be quiet for our neighbors.

“I still can’t believe you said yes,” Tatyana says as we finally get the front door open. She kicks her shoes off and follows me into my room, flinging herself dramatically onto my bed.

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about this anymore,” I remind her once again since this is the fourth time she has brought it up this evening. She groans.

“I know but I still think it is a bad idea,” Tatyana points out and it’s my turn to groan.

“You said that already, like, a lot.” I change into pajamas and then go to the bathroom to wash up for bed.

“Callum suuuuuucks,” Tatyana calls from the bedroom. I chuckle and almost choke on my toothbrush. “But,” she says, strolling into the bathroom, “Kurt is pretty cool.”

“Kurt is amazing and my heart is broken,” I tell her and her face falls. She frowns, looking sad for me. “It’s fine. I don’t think it is fully broken, you know? I was falling in love with him but I don’t think I was all the way there. Seeing him with Ashley was so shocking. That’s probably why I am so…distraught over it.” My explanation makes sense to me but I can see that Tayana isn’t fully buying it.

“Okay, I can understand that. It hurts when someone you trust does something to betray you. Even if it wasn’t real,” Tatyana says, and I know she is testing me.

I spit into the sink and wipe my mouth. “Right, it wasn’t real.”

I won’t let her trip me up. If I want to get over this, I have to accept that it wasn’t real. I can rationalize why Kurt and I bonded, we were forced to. We spent so much time together and specifically faking an engagement, that is pretty intimate, it is no wonder we both started to act like it was real. But it wasn’t. I just have to keep reminding myself that.

“You’ve already admitted it was real to you, I don’t appreciate you taking it back,” Tatyana scolds me. “You are allowed to fall for your fake fiancé. You two bonded through the trauma of pretending but that doesn’t mean the bond was fake. I really think you should have had an in-depth conversation with him and told him how you were actually feeling because I know you held back. He needed to hear the whole truth, even if some of it was ugly.”

“Stop being so smart.” I pout as I go back to my room and leave her to wash up by herself. “Also, how did you come up with all of that while completely trashed? That’s very impressive.” Tatyana cackles as I walk away.

Tatyana doesn’t pester me for the rest of the night but I can’t help but think that maybe she is right. I shouldn’t let Callum back in my life and I shouldn’t let Kurt get away so easily. Maybe neither is right for me but with the way I am feeling about Kurt, I at least owe it to myself to talk to him and be honest.

The history with Callum is what holds me back. I always thought he would be the man I ended up with. I always thought he could be a better man but I had yet to see it. I had an image of him in my head that was nothing more than a fantasy. I shouldn’t let him drag me back under whatever spell he had on me.

I fall asleep thinking about both of the men in my life. Both situations broke my heart and made for a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 53

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