Page 30 of Fatal Vengeance

Oh, wait, already there.

I grind my teeth, desperate for a goddamn toothpick to tear apart in my mouth, but I forgot to pack them in the mad dash from Blackwood. And it’s not the only thing that didn’t make it into my suitcase…

My meds. The ones that keep me steady, keep me sane. Yeah, those ones. I don’t know how, but I forgot them at the hotel when we left to come here, and now I can feel myself spiraling. The only thing that’s keeping my chaotic mind in one piece is taking care of Prudence, so Asher can politely fuck all the way off.

If he knew I didn’t have my meds, he’d probably chain me down to keep me away from her. Asher has seen me at my worst, been there through my most destructive episodes. He knows how… dangerous I can be. I wouldn’t blame him for trying to keep Prudence safe. But I’d probably knock his fucking teeth out, because she’s never in danger with me.

I told her once that I was a chaotic storm and that she was the only person my damage wouldn’t ruin in the wake. I meant that. She's the center, the force that fuels me, that wields me like a weapon. Prudence is my reason, and she'd never see my fury turned on her. Ever.

I’m not saying I don’t need those pills, I do, but something about Prudence just settles me. She’s not a replacement, and I’m going to have to figure my shit out sooner rather than later, but for now, she’s all I need to keep myself steady.

I snarl at my dickhead cousin, flipping him off as I leave. Asher mumbles something about me leaving her to sleep under his breath, but I pretend I don’t hear him. I’m not keeping my girl from sleeping. She can sleep in my fucking arms. I just need to be near her right now, make sure she’s still there, still breathing… Still mine.

My hands tremble, my thoughts messy and loud, but I push through it and open the door to the guest bedroom. The moment I find my perfect, broken little Ember curled in bed, my chest eases and I can breathe properly for the first time in days. At first, I think she’s sleeping, but then her sad eyes snap up to mine as I walk to the bed, and she gives me a weak smile.

“Hey, baby,” I whisper as I reach the edge of the bed, sweeping her crimson hair from her face and caressing her cheek. “How you feeling today?”

Instead of answering, Prudence chews on her bottom lip, the poor skin red and swollen from how often she’s been doing that, and then she pulls back the covers. “Lay with me?” Her voice is so small and rough, but it commands me like it always does.

I could never deny her a single thing. I’m incapable.

I smile sadly at her, kicking off my shoes and then yanking my shirt off. I leave my black sweatpants on and then I climb right into the bed with my perfect girl. Prudence sighs contentedly when I pull her close, my arm around her and our foreheads resting together.

Those hazel eyes that I love search my face. “I keep thinking,” Prudence breathes, so soft it’s almost not audible. “If I could go back in time and avoid Blackwood, avoid all of this death and pain and craziness… I don’t know that I’d do it. Even knowing I’d suffer so much. Because then I would never have met you, and that breaks my heart. You’re such a beautiful monster, Creed. My monster. The one who’d fight all my demons for me. I can’t ever thank you enough for the way you’ve completed me. The way all of you have.”

Fuck, my heart is breaking. I close my eyes, battling off the emotion sitting too close to the surface. My mind is already a mess today, I can’t handle this headfuck right now on top of everything else. It’s not that I don’t appreciate her kind, tender confession. It’s simply that I know I’m a fucked up, twisted bastard and I don’t believe I deserve so much care from this woman. How I got her is a goddamn mystery to me, but I won't ever question it.

“My sweet Ember,” I rasp, smoothing my hand up her spine to cup the back of her head. “What would I do without you?” Go insane, like for real, and end up back in that fucking place. I don’t say that out loud, though. As much as I rely on her to keep me sane, I don’t ever want her to feel like that’s her burden to carry.

Prudence brushes a gentle kiss to my lips and then says, “Probably terrorize everyone around you. Likely kill Asher at some point. I think Griffin would be safe enough, though.”

I breathe out a laugh at her teasing tone, glad to have her coming back into herself, even if she’s still hiding away in bed. I open my eyes, steal another swift kiss, and then roll onto my back and pull her over to lay on my chest. “Mute Griffin would have definitely been safe from me. But now that he’s speaking again, I’m remembering what a bossy asshole he can be.”

Prudence hums in amusement. “Lucky you love him then, right? Asher too. I honestly don’t know how you put up with him for so long, but props to you.”

“He wasn’t so bad with me. You’re just special, you got all of his wrath. Now you’re on the other side of his emotions, but he’ll be just as loud about those as he was about hating you. I hope you’re prepared for all of that, baby,” I joke.

Prudence sighs, as if having Asher’s affections is such a burden, but then she says, “I guess I would get used to it. Being the center of three wild men.”

“Would?” I question absently. I don’t know why, but it feels like an odd word choice.

She stiffens against me, for only a moment, and then cuddles closer like she’s trying to bury herself in my chest. “Will,” she corrects quietly, drawing senseless patterns on my bare chest. “I will get used to it.”

I smile, even though she can’t see it, just so fucking glad to have her in my arms right now. I drop my nose to her hair, breathing her in. The slight trembling in my hands ceases as my lungs fill with nothing but Prudence. Calm, sure, strong. She’s all the things I’m missing. Even with all the meds in the world, knowing her and losing her, I’d never be the same.

We need to get those motherfuckers taken care of before they can get their hands on her again.

I don’t voice that, even while it practically screams in my head, over and over again. I don’t want to spoil this precious moment, but when I slip out of here later, I’ll talk to Asher. We have to do far more than a journalist report to stop them.

But for now, I’m just going to enjoy the way my mind quiets around my girl.

Prudence and I fall into a peaceful silence, just enjoying each other’s silent company for a while because we don’t need words between us. Our feelings are clear in the small touches, the happy sighs, the tender kisses.

But when my brain gets crowded again half an hour later, my hands starting to shake a bit, I swallow through my panic and whisper, “You know I would never hurt you, right, baby? You will always be safe with me. Always. Even if… if I’m not myself.”

Prudence leans back to look at me, a frown pulling her plump lips down. “Of course I know that, Creed. Why? Are you… not feeling okay?”

I’m tempted to lie, reassure her, but there’s also a part of me that wants to confide in Prudence. Tell her I’m off my meds and things aren’t going to be pretty in a few days unless I can get more. But I don’t want to worry her any more after the way she’s been struggling with her mom and Annie’s losses and the constant threat of The Celestials.

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