Page 11 of Lethal Truths

“I hope so.” With a tight smile, I pull my hand free and get my things pulled out from my backpack. We both missed the last two weeks of classes, so Creed will be my study buddy while we work to catch up. Wouldn’t have killed Asher to bring us his notes from this class, but hey, just one more thing to hate him for.

As if thinking about the asshole conjured him from thin air, Asher walks into class with a hard scowl that prevents anyone from approaching. His eyes travel over the quickly crowding room, stopping on me with so much apathy and hatred that it’s as if I can actually feel the visual slap to the face. The next second, he’s moved on, eyes downcast as he walks past our row and heads to a seat in the back.

I glance at Creed, conflicted. I haven’t told him that Asher kissed me in the kitchen the other day. Truthfully, I’ve hardly allowed myself to think about it. Because if I do… I might remember how shockingly good it felt, for just a brief moment in time. Until he almost chopped my fingers off and stormed out.

Fuck, I must be some screwed up, masochistic kind of bitch. Why else would I be so drawn to men who hurt me?

Halfway through the day, I’m tired, cranky, and certain I’m seeing my attackers in every pair of eyes I look into. All I have to go by is the weight of the ringleader’s body as he straddled me and held me down, so every average sized male I pass could be him. Every random guy that sits near me in class could be one of them. Anyone whose gaze lingers just a tad too long is spiking my nerves.

I don’t tell Creed this, of course. I’m not going to be responsible for the bodies he’ll leave in his wake if I start pointing people out. No, the only blood I want on my hands will be theirs, just as soon as we’ve figured out who they are.

Creed meets me outside my class, as promised. His black hair is gorgeously tousled and the soft half-smile he sends my way as he closes the distance between us has me nearly bouncing on my heels. I’m not sure if I want to flee or fall into him, and it’s really fucking with my head. I’m caught between past and future, between pain and pleasure. As I watch the dangerous man approach, I have a sudden realization; what if he’s both? Pain and pleasure. What if you can’t have the soft side of him without the sharp, cutting edges? Is that something I’m willing to dive into knowingly? Is it something I’ll like?

Remembering what he did to me in that closet… Yes, I think I would really like it.

Stopping at my side, Creed studies me for a moment. “How are you doing, Ember? Need to ditch the rest of the day and head back home?” he asks, keeping his voice low enough for just the two of us.

The way he says home, like it’s ours and not just a frat house I’ve been crashing at, warms my blood, but I don’t react to it. Shaking my head, I heft my backpack up a little higher and say, “I’m good. Just tired, I guess. And hungry.”

He hums, nodding his head in the direction of the cafeteria. “Let’s get you fed, then, huh?”

We make it all of three steps before some girl strides into our path. She’s tall, thin, and tan, with deep brown eyes and pouty lips. “Hi, Creed. Where you been lately? I’ve missed seeing you around campus,” she purrs, stroking a finger up his arm.

My body locks up tight, anger and rejection turning my stomach inside out. My mind throws me back to the night he was sucking the tongue right out of that blonde’s mouth after he requested a beer from me. And then I’m at a different party, watching Griffin fawn all over another gorgeous girl while ignoring me like it was his goddamn job.

I’ve played this game before, and I was the only one who walked away wounded both times. I won’t do it again.

Just as I’m about to excuse myself before I can watch the pair flirt away, Creed’s lips curl into a vicious snarl. He snatches her wrist and rips her hand off of him so fast, I almost miss it. She whimpers in pain as his fingers dig in, nails visibly biting into her bronzed skin. I really should be ashamed of the joy it brings me. But I’m not. Maybe I’m just as fucked up as he is…

“Celeste,” he greets with a dangerously casual voice. “Bad news, baby. I’ve grown tired of you. All of you. You can tell your friends for me, right?”

She sputters, embarrassment coating her cheeks with a bloom of red. “What, seriously?” she snaps, flicking her thick, dark hair over her shoulder.

Creed shrugs, looking her over slowly. “It’s not me, it’s you. Sorry,” he tells her, though not an ounce of apology rings in his tone. With a hand on my lower back, he urges me on, away from a fuming Celeste.

Once we’re around the corner and melting into the crowd, Creed’s rushed steps slow. When I peek up at him, I catch sight of a rough swallow and deep frown.

He stops walking and turns to face me, staring into my damn soul. Chewing on his bottom lip, he takes my hand and threads our fingers together. “I’m sorry about that,” he says, shaking his head with downcast eyes.

“It’s fine,” I answer on autopilot, not sure where he’s going with this.

Creed reaches into his pocket and pulls out toothpicks, plucking one into his mouth. It snaps in seconds, and he pulls it free with a heavy sigh. “I’ve been dead inside for a long time. I didn’t care how trashed I got or where I stuck my dick. It was all just useless ways to pass time. None of it mattered to me, as long as I felt something.”

“And now?”

“Now I’m embarrassed,” he explains softly. “I don’t want that shit to touch you, to ever be near you. I was out of control… I told you I’m not that guy, not really, but how do I prove it when things like that happen? You’re going to think the worst of me, and then I’ll have lost the only fucking person who settles the chaos inside my mind.”

My chest cracks a little with the raw emotion in his voice. I don’t know why he thinks I’m so special, so worthy of the real him, and it still rocks me to my core. Especially when he opens that sinful mouth and lets such heavy truths slip free. I’m not sure if it’s healthy to be the foundation for someone else’s sanity, and yet, when Creed says something like that, it warms me right through. I guess it’s just nice to be needed on such a deep level. It gives a sense of security, a silent promise that he won’t leave because he’s relying on me to keep that beautifully dark brain from spiraling.

Twisted, but… I like it.

“It’s okay. There’s nothing to forgive, Creed,” I manage to say. Well, there is plenty he needs to earn forgiveness for, but not his past hookups. I’m well aware that Creed wasn’t a virgin when we came together, and I know he learned those skills with lots of… practice. It may sting, and an unreasonable part of me may be jealous, but it’s not something he needs to apologize for.

Creed’s tight muscles relax, and he wraps his arm around my shoulders, steering me toward the cafeteria. “Good. Okay… You’re really too good for this pitiful world, you know that?” He pauses, smiling down at me softly. “What’ll it be today, Ember? Do you mind if I bring you another full tray?”

Shaking myself back into the moment, I eye him suspiciously, even as a smile tries to break free. “I’m capable of grabbing my own meal, you know? And then you don’t have to eat whatever I don’t want.”

Creed laughs, and it’s this husky, deep sound that travels down my skin and leaves chills in its wake. “I like seeing what you choose every day. Seeing if I guessed right. It helps me figure you out,” he explains with a confident smile. “Besides, I’m not picky. I’m happy to have whatever scraps you throw my way.”

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