Page 37 of Cage Me

“You were feeling my rage,” I tell her honestly. “I took it back.”

The lie burns through my body, scorching my insides, but I won’t tell her that I’ve blocked her out unless I have to. She’ll demand that I stop, and I won’t hurt her with my past.

Maybe this is exactly what Natalia was speaking of when she said that I was destruction. I try not to think too hard on that, because if my fate is destroying Spencer, I’d sooner die than let that happen.

She rolls her shoulders and shakes her arms out. “How are you so calm when you have all that fury lying just beneath the surface? I couldn’t even last two minutes with it.”

Her arms wrap around my waist when I step closer to hold her. If I can’t feel the beat of her inside me any longer, then I at least need physical contact.

“The pain is something I’ve learned how to live with,” I tell her, doing my best to hide the worst of my frustrations.

Spencer pulls back to look at me. “You said before that we need to talk about your wolf. What about him?”

I don’t want to keep anything else from my mate, and my thoughts from earlier no longer seem all that important. I start to tell her we can discuss this later, but she shakes her head and glares.

“Nope. You had something to say and you’re going to do so now,” she says assuredly, her face no longer tainted with my darkness. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

A smile forms on my face. Her commanding tone makes me want to strip her naked again, but I shove the imagery to the back of my mind. I want my mate to know me, and she needs to be prepared in case I lose control.

“When I froze earlier, it was for two reasons,” I start to explain. “The first and most important was because for the first time since scenting you, I truly understood what the bond between us meant to me. I’d heard that for those like me—shifters seeped in the shadows from Tartarus—meeting our mates can make one feral, but I didn’t experience that with you at first. I had desperation, but the wildness wasn’t there. I think it might be because of the spell still attached to my wolf and the moment you gave yourself to me, you freed him. Not completely, but temporarily enough for me to truly grasp the intensity of how much I need you.”

She holds me tighter, her face softening. “How so?”

“I needed your touch so fiercely that I thought I would die without holding you,” I tell her honestly. “Being inside you, feeling our bond expand and take root, watching your walls come down, all of that brought out the best and worst in me. I knew right then that you are all I need in this world, that everything else could disappear besides you and I would still be fine.”

Her hand reaches up, and I lean my cheek into her gentle touch as she says, “But? Something else happened. You were hurting and that doesn’t line up with what you’re saying now.”

At least she isn’t pulling away, knowing that there’s more, because she’s right. My curse is even worse than I understood before meeting Spencer.

“Kel didn’t just trap me inside my body,” I tell her. “She linked herself to me. She knows I’m bonded with you now.”

The moment the words leave my mouth, I wish I could take them back, but Spencer needs to know even if the truth hurts us both.

“How?” she practically growls, her shoulders stiffening beneath my touch and a deep crease forming between her narrowing eyes.

I double-check the wall I’ve erected is still up and I’m not making matters worse for her. The block is still present between the worst of my rage and Spencer. Though, it’s not hard for me to remember that she was angry when I first met her. I’m sure whatever epiphanies she’s experienced today can’t have completely changed that, nor can I control all of her emotions.

“I assume she’s somehow tied herself to me using whatever curse she placed on me,” I say, because all we can do is guess at this point. “But the one thing I am certain about is that any spell can be broken by the death of its creator. Whatever Kel did to me, it will be undone when I kill her.”

“Not if I get my claws around her throat first.” Spencer snarls, but this time, her rage feels more controlled and not all-encompassing like it was just moments ago. “But what did you mean that she’s linked to you? Can you feel her?”

The way her eyes turn to slits tells me that her wolf is lurking just beneath the surface and the way I answer this question needs to be done carefully.

“I can’t feel her,” I say honestly. “I merely sensed her energy when our bond first started to solidify. She’s angry, and I have a feeling that means she’s going to come after us sooner rather than later.”

“Not if we go after her first.” Spencer picks up my boots and tosses them at me. “Get your shoes on. We’re going to see Natalia again.”

My brow scrunches. “She made it pretty clear that she isn’t going to help us.”

“And I’m going to make it pretty clear that she doesn’t have a choice.”

When I first met Spencer, I had no doubts about her strength. She’s a fighter through and through. But seeing her eyes glow with the force of her fury tells me she’s been holding back—or maybe my wall isn’t working as well as I hope. Either way, this is going to be interesting.

By the time I have my boots on, Spencer is waiting at the door with a dagger sheathed at her hip and some sort of spell in her hand.

“Are you going to use the witch’s own magic against her?” I ask as we exit the shed.

“Natalia isn’t the only witch I’ve done business with.” She looks up at the bright moon sitting high in the sky and grins before glancing over at me. “Do shadow shifters go into heat?”

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