Page 9 of Shattered Mates

“Jules?” My voice is hoarse, but for the first time in too long, I remember. Not just the suffering, but the bliss.

She’s not the seventeen-year-old I left behind. She’s matured and grown and… Fuck. How much time have I lost to the darkness of my own mind?

Her weeping snaps me out of my stupor and I sit up, wrapping my arms around her as she buries her head into my chest. “I thought you were…”

She doesn’t need to finish her sentence. “I’m so sorry, Jules. So fucking sorry.” The words feel worthless after what I’ve done, abandoning my mate and losing myself to the sinister world I was sent to defeat. Yet, I intend to say them a million times over, for the rest of our lives.

“It wasn’t your fault,” she whispers against my neck.

The more I breathe her in, the stronger our bond thrums within me, tying us together and causing me to hold on tighter by the second.

Any suffering consuming me before is swiftly replaced by the need to protect the woman in my arms, to give her everything she needs in this life. There’s a desperation that claws at my insides, afraid to let her go, for fear this is only a nightmare and I’ll wake just to keep running.

We’re finally home, my wolf says, his own voice burdened with torture so raw that it seems to bleed into my very soul.

Gods, I hope so.

Jules pulls back and her hands cup my face, a balm to the searing pain I’m still trying to work through. Her fingers get tangled in my hair, and the side of her mouth lifts. “Your hair is so long.”

Suddenly, I’m acutely aware of its length, a testament to the time that’s passed.

“I missed you, River,” she murmurs as her eyes scan every inch of my face multiple times over. “So much that some days I thought I might not survive another hour without you, and now that you’re here, it feels as if an eternity has passed. Like the last time I saw you was another lifetime ago.”

“I wasn’t supposed to be gone for so long. How many years has it been?” The question hangs heavily between us, and I wince as soon as she frowns.

“Over six years,” she reveals, then a bit of light returns to her eyes. “I fought every day for us. To be the woman you deserved when I finally got you back. I never stopped waiting for you, for us.”

While the sincerity of her words pierces my heart, I can’t ignore her answer. Six years? That means she’s twenty-three, maybe twenty-four depending on the month. No wonder it seems as if she’s changed. Jules isn’t the young woman I couldn’t have when I made the choice to leave.

Her wry smile catches my attention. “There were also days that I swore when I finally saw you again that I’d make you pay for hurting me by leaving without saying goodbye, but now that you’re here, now that I can touch you, none of that matters. Only that you’re okay and that we haven’t lost you. You are okay, right?”

Jules runs her hands over my shoulders, searching for visible injuries, but any of my ailments lie deep within and those aren’t for my mate to fix. Those are on me, because of the choices I made.

I gently grab her wrists and bring her hands together before pressing them to my mouth. Her skin brushes over my lips, and the tether that ties us together lights up within me, starting at my heart, moving through my core and straight into Jules.

My mate.

It doesn’t seem possible that I could have forgotten her, but then I remember the potion Maciah gave me. It wasn’t exactly as he said, but closer to what I believed. I was made to forget everyone I loved so that I could save the people nobody else could.

And I did. Those flashes of what I deemed nightmares before, they were just that, but they were also moments of success. The blood was that of my enemies, of those who wished harm to supernaturals.

I hadn’t been the monster I thought I was, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still one.

My mate deserves better than this, better than me.

“I’m so sorry, Jules,” I tell her again. “I never meant to hurt you.”

She shakes her head and separates her hands until my face is cushioned between her palms. “The only thing that matters right now is you. Not the past or anything else. How about we get you home and sort out the rest later?”

Home. I’d thought that place might be here, but the moment Jules says the word, I picture her and Texas and the rest of my family.

My parents. They tried to come for me, even Dawsyn. I’d run from them all for no reason I can fathom at the moment, but being here, on top of this mountain with this incredible woman…

I glance back up at the moon and thank the Goddess who created each of the wolf shifters. I have no doubts she led me here, and I’ll never forget that.

My forehead presses against Jules’. “Going home sounds perfect.”

Chapter Five

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