Page 7 of Shattered Mates

“You’ll find him.” My sister nods with confidence. “Don’t forget to call. And be safe.”

“I will. Love you both.”

With one last goodbye, I hop into Kyler’s truck and hope like hell all my unease is for no reason, that whatever reason River has been running from everyone is just some odd misunderstanding.

As I pull out of the driveway, I snort.

Fat fucking chance of that.

Chapter Four

River

Traversing the perilous mountains within Colorado, time has lost its shape, melding day into night. The steep inclines force my wolf to push himself harder than he ever has, and as we get higher in elevation, the agony from even breathing is a welcome relief.

Feeling anything other than the need to run gives me a glimmer of hope that whatever vicious cycle I’m trapped in won’t persist, that I’ll eventually remember my past and find my future.

We get to the top of a mountain, thousands of feet up in elevation with the moon high above, and a steady breeze whipping through and around us. My wolf’s breaths come out in visible puffs, and when he howls, the sound reverberates through our whole being, carrying the weight of our shared desolation.

Anguish, soul-aching torment, and darkness. So much darkness that I’m surprised we’re still standing from the weight of it all.

We’ve been out here for days and haven’t seen a single human, but there have been plenty of other predators, some we’ve hunted for food, others we’ve left be. Now, there is only silence around us.

My skin itches, and the moon above calls me forward, tugging at my soul. I can’t remember the last time I was on two feet, but the draw to shift grows more intense with every passing second that we stand here.

Taking control, I draw on my shifter energy, pulling it back and focusing on my human half. The action is slower than it once was and my movements are jerky, but soon enough, I’m on two feet again.

My back curls forward as I stretch my shoulders, then I push up on the balls of my feet to lengthen my legs. Tension riddles my body, but as I suck in the fresh mountain air, there’s a sense of belonging that I haven’t felt in maybe ever. I can’t remember belonging before. Maybe I did, but the warmth covering me from the moon’s light isn’t anything I can recall.

This could be where we stop. This could be home, in the middle of the forest, close to the moon.

Glancing around at the expansive area, there’s not much to see. Trees taller than skyscrapers, the distant rush of a raging river, and mountains covered in more forest.

Home.

The word feels foreign to my mind, but when even my wolf doesn’t object, I decide this is it. We’ve run far enough, long enough.

When my mind doesn’t feel as if it’s going to explode from the thought of not running, I know I’ve made the right decision. I might not understand why, and I’m still alone, but at least I’m standing still.

Taking a moment to appreciate this serenity, I feel my mouth twitching. A smile? When was the last time one graced my face? Years, maybe even decades. I don’t know.

Closing my eyes, I try to recall the last time I had a reason to feel joy. Instead of the normal sharp stabbing sensations I feel when reaching for the past, images start to flip through my mind like a horror movie. Slaughtered wolves, caged humans and supernaturals alike, blood everywhere. Screams so horrific I doubt they’ll ever fade from my mind.

Years of death and destruction, hurting people, but also saving them? That can’t be right. I put half of those people in their cages, yet something inside me says I wasn’t their captor.

I was still a monster, obliterating anyone who got in my way, and never once do I see the smile that no longer graces my face.

Maybe I don’t deserve this peace up here on the mountain. Maybe running for the rest of my lonely existence is the penance for what I’ve done, for the lives I’ve stolen from so many innocent people.

A raindrop falls down my cheek, then another, but when I look up, the sky is still clear. This isn’t rain. I’m…crying.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Falling to my knees, I stare into the night above and pray for the Moon Goddess to end whatever this is. I want to be done with the suffering and the unknown. I’m a murderer, a monster. I shouldn’t be allowed to breathe another breath.

Leaves crunch behind me, and I stay right where I am. If something is here for me, they can have me. I have no more fight within my body.

There’s a harsh intake of air, then footsteps moving quicker. I close my eyes, praying for this to be the end.

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