Page 4 of Shattered Mates

“He’s lost himself, Jules,” she says, a deep frown marring her face. “Not only have his parents tried to get him back, but even Lexi, Maciah, and my dad. When they all failed, I went myself. I thought there was no way he would run from me, that I could force him to…” Her head shakes, and she lowers her stare. “He looked right through me as if I’m nothing to him, and when I saw his eyes? It’s not good, and you need to prepare yourself for the chance that?—”

“No,” I cut her off. “I hear what you’re saying, and I will take any advice you might have except for that. River will come back to us. There are no other options.”

“But—”

I shut her down again. “I mean it, Dawsyn. I respect you and appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but don’t tell me that I’ve lost my mate before I’ve even had the chance to have him. Don’t do that to me, not when you’re asking me to go out there and bring him home. It’s one or the other, and I believe in the latter. Our River isn’t lost. He might be shattered right now, but he’s still alive and that’s all the hope I need.”

Her face softens and she starts to smile. “I knew you were ready for this job.”

My eyes narrow at her as my wolf stirs within me. “Was that a test?”

“Of course not,” she says quickly. “But once again, you’ve impressed me. I’ve watched you closely, probably more than I should have, but River, he’s my family. The situation the two of you found yourself in made me, um…”

“Uncomfortable?” I chuckle. I might not have seen the issues with our age difference at seventeen, but I can understand why everyone was so leery before. Thirteen years between the two of us doesn’t seem like much now that I’m almost twenty-four, but back then? Yeah, it was a lot.

“That word works.” Dawsyn laughs with me. “But I wouldn’t ask this of you if I didn’t believe that you’ve worked your ass off for this moment. You’ve not only grown in maturity, but in strength, both mentally and physically. I should have sent you to begin with, but I thought we could handle it. I didn’t realize just how severe things had gotten.”

I’m not even going to ask what she means by that, because it doesn’t matter. Nothing is going to change my mind. Any preparations I need, I’ve already mastered, and if I haven’t, then I’ll just hope the Moon Goddess is on my side here, because I’m getting my mate back. Nothing will stand in my way, not even his shattered mind.

I’m coming for you, River.

Chapter Two

River

Disoriented and adrift amongst the mountains of uncertainty, I find myself endlessly fleeing through concrete jungles and unfamiliar lands, each passing mile a blur to my stricken mind. Each stride I take as my wolf is a desperate attempt to outrun the chaos that nips at our heels.

His paws pound the earth in a rhythm, seeking a cadence that can drown out the turmoil within. This relentless running is my only solace, my only means to keep the darkness at bay.

What am I trying to escape? I couldn’t say even if the words weren’t eluding me. All I know for certain is that the moment I cease moving, a tempest of emotions threaten to overwhelm me. My breath is stolen, hijacked by an invisible force, and my heart flares with an anguish that’s somehow both foreign and intimately familiar.

This nomadic existence, this running without respite, has become the only pillar of my reality. The faces of those I once knew and the sense of home have long ago faded into the background of my shattered memories.

There’s a shadow lurking in my chest, an insidious darkness that threatens to consume me, and only the raw, unrestrained spirit of my wolf form can keep it at bay. He is the protector to the last of my sanity, the silent defender from the unseen hunters on our trail.

I was on a path once, working toward a goal that felt as vital as the beat of my heart. But something went awry, and now the pieces refuse to fit back together. Each attempt to reclaim my past is like a plunge into icy waters, my own screams the only thing I hear before my knees buckle beneath me each time I try to remember.

Yet, I persist, because this perpetual flight doesn’t sit right with my soul. This existence, this hellish silence, can’t be the totality of my life.

With flickers of thoughts that whisper like an old friend through my mind, I consider that the torment I’ve been avoiding just might hold the release I also crave—a sweet relief to the anguish I’ve been trapped in.

The notion of death has recently become a strange companion, a siren call that promises peace. Yet, despite the allure, my legs continue to carry me forward, driven by an inexplicable will to survive.

There’s a fragment of something within the darkness of my thoughts, one that refuses to be silenced—a reason to live that I can’t quite grasp. It’s maddening, the sense that something—or someone—is waiting for me beyond the horizon of my memory.

I’m both lost and precisely where I desire to be. The prey who has forgotten its predator, or perhaps, the twist in this tale is that the beast I fear...

Is none other than myself.

Chapter Three

Jules

Dawsyn gives me River’s last known location and sends me on my way. The very thought of stepping beyond the confines of the pack to search for him sends joy through my veins, and I can’t suppress the grin that splits my face as I descend the pack house stairs with an eagerness that seems to make the very air around me thrum with energy.

I have a bag to pack and a mate to find.

Finding him and making sure he’s okay is my number one priority. River might have carved into my heart with a wooden spoon by leaving without a word, but I understand now that he thought he was making the right decision. All this time, I’ve tried giving him the benefit of the doubt, believing that things went really wrong and he’s had no choice other than to run. Yet, knowing I’m going to see him soon, I can’t deny that a part of me wants him to pay for abandoning me.

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