Page 15 of Shattered Mates

My eyes are still locked on Jules as Andie, Dawsyn, and Cillian head for the pack house. My heart hammers in my chest, but I finally force out the words I need to say. “Do you want me to go with them?”

She shakes her head as her lower lip begins to quiver.

Compelled by the need to comfort her, I rush toward my mate and cradle her precious face between my hands with a gentleness that doesn’t match the storm of emotions within my mind and heart. “What’s wrong, Jules?”

“I’m so scared of screwing this up,” she says, and tears start to fall down her cheeks. “I want to pretend everything is fine, that you weren’t lost in some way for six years, but I also want to make sure that you’re okay, even if that means I’m not.”

“What are you saying?” I ask softly, needing to understand what her and my wolf are trying to say.

Her gaze holds mine even as she shakes within my hands. “That maybe you need to process everything you’ve been through without me.”

My heart is shattering, not for the words she’s saying, but because of what she went through. I left my mate to heal from her past on her own. She had her sister, but she also knew I was out there somewhere. Not just the idea of a mate, she knew me, and yet, she couldn’t have me.

The consequences of my choices are catching up with me and I have a feeling they will be for some time.

“I’m sorry I left you when you needed me most, Jules,” I tell her, my voice rough. “That wasn’t fair to you even if everyone told us it was for the best. I could have been your best friend, but instead I abandoned you, believing that would make everything easier for the both of us. You’ve become an incredible woman, and this might be selfish of me to ask, but I don’t want to lose you. I can’t. Not for the night or even another minute. It’s not fair of me to ask this of you, but don’t make me do this alone. I need you and you alone. Please let me stay with you.”

Her cries turn to sobs, and I can’t hold back my own tears. I hate that this happened to us. I hate that I hurt her when I left and that I felt the need to leave. Though I can’t regret saving everyone that I could, it doesn’t mean I have to like everything about the outcome of my choices.

“I’m so sorry,” she mutters into my chest. “I wanted to be strong for you. I’m trying. I just… I missed you so much.”

I kiss the top of her head. “I know and it’s okay, but let’s not lose another moment. I promise I will work through what happened while I was gone and I will be the mate you deserve, but don’t make me do it alone. I’m not as strong as you.”

It’s a fact I’m beginning to see, because not only did I leave her, but she was willing to give me up again because she thought it was the right thing. Maybe it is, but I’m too selfish to let this woman go. I need her too much.

“Okay.”

Hope blooms in my chest. “Okay? As in okay, we can go home and I can hold my mate tonight?”

She nods and smiles through the tears. “I would love nothing more.”

Her fingers interlace with mine, and she guides me toward the tree line where I know there are cabins. Every step forward feels like healing, but I know her worries about me aren’t for nothing, and I vow to do whatever it takes to be the mate Jules deserves.

I won’t ever let her down again.

Chapter Seven

Jules

Ihave no clue what’s right or wrong in this situation, but what I do know is that the way River’s eyes shimmered under the glow of the moon when he begged me not to leave him alone nearly killed me.

He’s my mate, the other half of my soul, and he needs me. While we’ve been through our traumas, I understand that his is different than mine was. Maybe he doesn’t need to heal on his own like I did. Maybe I don’t have to wait to be the mate I’ve dreamed of being for these last six years.

River’s grasp on my hand is firm while acting as an invisible tether to our bond. Our connection might feel fragile given our time apart, but that doesn’t mean the pulse between us isn’t strong.

I’ve waited so long for this moment, but now that it’s here, my throat is closing up and my stomach churns like a wild storm is brewing. I’m a twenty-four-year-old woman, but I’ve never even kissed anyone. I spent over seventeen years of my life being afraid of anyone who looked twice at me, and since then, I’ve been waiting.

Waiting for my mate. And here he is, his warmth like a beacon calling me home.

My cabin comes into view, and my heart pounds within my chest, each step forward weighed down with unspoken questions and desires. Will he want to kiss me? Does he see me as the teenager I once was or as the woman I’ve become? Will he want more? Do I want more?

So many questions, and the only way I’m going to get answers is to walk inside my home and find out.

River tugs on my arm and stops me. I turn to look at him, and he’s grinning.

“What happened?” I run a hand over my face and hair. “Is there something on me?”

He doesn’t answer me. Instead, he picks me up and cradles me in his arms. “You happened.”

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