Page 12 of Shattered Mates

Chapter Six

River

The urge to run still haunts me, hounding me like a relentless ghost from my past, but here in the presence of Jules, memories continue to seep through the cracks of my mind and not just ones of the nightmare I lived for six years.

The potion Maciah gave me was a double-edged sword. Not only did the spell dull my emotions, but the more I took the doses provided, the more I began to completely forget who I was and those I once cared for.

The toll of such magic has been steep; it frayed the very fabric of my being, leaving me a shell of the man I once was. Every dose pushed my memories further into the abyss, and my purpose narrowed to a singular, desperate quest—to free the captured supernaturals.

I have no idea if that had been Maciah’s and Andie’s intention when they created that potion for me, or if it was the side effects of long-term use, but either way, the magic nearly destroyed me.

My thoughts keep wondering what might have happened next if Jules hadn’t shown up today, if it hadn’t been her that they sent instead of anyone else.

Though, as much as I can sense how much Jules cares, I can also tell she’s holding back. She says she’s not afraid of me and I believe her, but there’s something she’s keeping from me.

“So,” she starts, her voice slicing through the thick silence as the tires crunch along the timber road, “What did you want to talk about?”

Her knuckles are white, her body coiled with tension, and I lay a hand over hers, hoping my physical touch will offer her some comfort. “Maybe you should tell me what’s on your mind first.”

She shakes her head, keeping her eyes on the road. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

The words are a half-truth at best, but I don’t press. Instead, I wade into the waters of my own regret. “I really am sorry that I left without a goodbye. If I had known how long I was going to be gone…”

She glances at me, her soothing gaze offering a sliver of forgiveness. “You made the right choice, River. Not being away for six years, but leaving without telling me yourself.” She finally gives me a half-smile. “I would have made a scene, and it wouldn’t have been pretty.”

My eyes can’t move from her mouth. I want to kiss her so badly, but I still feel as if I have no right. She might be all grown up now, but I have no idea what’s happened in her life since we last saw one another.

“I couldn’t remember you,” I tell her, deciding the only way to get through this is just to say the words. “I couldn’t remember anyone or anything after a while. All I knew was that I needed to save those who had been taken.”

Her smile reappears. “You saved Lexi’s friends. I remember that day. I’d been heading for the lake when I heard her scream. I’d run, wondering if something bad had happened. By the time I got to the pack house, she was crying happy tears and going on about how she knew that you would find them.”

I have no clue which of the warehouses had held Lexi’s friends, but it’s a small balm to know that I gave my old friend that sense of peace. She’d been one of those held captive and escaped before I’d gotten involved. Her mate Lykem had been so angry when I left, thanks to Jules’ sister killing our best lead, but hopefully the dragon shifter no longer holds that against her.

“I did a lot of things I’m not proud of and I hate that I was gone for so long, but saving those people? I can’t regret that,” I tell her as we turn onto a paved road.

Her stare returns to mine, strong and sure. “And you shouldn’t. Not for any reason, River.”

My stomach dips and churns as my heartrate increases. Damn, this woman is everything I could have hoped for and more.

I continue, telling her more about the pieces I can remember and about the potion that hopefully won’t have lasting effects. Though, only Andie will likely be able to tell me.

As soon as I’m done speaking, Jules reaches for her phone that’s been sitting in the cup holder. The time on the screen shows it’s nearly three in the morning.

“Who are you calling?” I ask when she starts pressing buttons.

She doesn’t reply, but I have my answer just a second later when the voice on the other end asks, “Did you find him?”

“Hello, Dawsyn,” I say, sharing a smile with Jules.

“You motherfucker,” Dawsyn practically growls, then she sucks in a sharp breath that gets cut off as the line goes silent.

“Dawsyn?” Jules asks, concern that matches mine filling her tone.

I can see the call is still connected, but maybe we don’t have good enough service.

“Just a minute,” my best friend says, her voice cracking before things go quiet again.

“I’m sorry, D,” I tell her softly. Though, my apology feels inadequate after all this time. “I promise I’ll make this up to you.”

---