Page 2 of Fractured Mates

And I’m not, I reply. Which means I still have guilt, no matter how happy I am to be on our own.

My wolf becomes quiet, and I take that time to pick a bit more at my burger, then thank the waitress for my refill before drinking half the shake in just a couple of gulps.

I stare at the other patrons in the diner. They’re smiling and laughing, enjoying their simple life in this backroad, country town in southern Colorado. Nobody here is alone like I am, and while I tell myself I prefer it this way, I’ve been thinking about the past way more than usual and have been heading in the direction of East Texas for weeks now.

There’s nothing wrong with having a pack, my wolf says, listening in on my thoughts.

I know she’d be happy about that. As much fun as we have on the road, doing as we please, deep down, pack is life. They’re family and safety and home. I’ve known that since the first time I ran away—right after initially meeting Thane—and felt truly alone.

Thane’s parents had moved to our pack in South Carolina and were instant celebrities with their deep pockets and powerful wolves. So much so that even my parents took their side when I told them I wasn’t ready to be a mate.

I had no idea why the fates would do that to me at only sixteen, especially since Thane had been twenty-three, but I learned quickly that I was the only person I could count on.

Thane didn’t like that I had my own opinions. He wanted me to cower before him, to do whatever he commanded, but that isn’t who I’ve ever been. I wanted to be his mate, but I wasn’t ready to let him fuck me or believe he owned me.

Maybe I would have been if he’d shown me even an ounce of respect, but he’d never even called me by name. He’d merely referred to me as his mate in a way that made it clear I would be his property. I couldn’t fathom letting that happen.

Though, it wasn’t just the future with a fated mate that I lost back then. I lost my home and my family, including a little sister who had only been five at the time. I ran from them, and nobody objected. To say that left me with a few additional issues would be an understatement.

Since then, I’ve avoided pretty much everyone I can. But as the years tick by, I wonder if I’ve made a mistake.

Not in killing Thane—that fucker deserved what he got, regardless of my lingering guilt—but by running away from my problems and never turning back.

You know what we need to do, my wolf says, voice filled with compassion.

She’s not wrong. Neither of us has said the words out loud, but we’ve both known for weeks now.

It’s time to go home. Our first home.

Before we can go back to South Carolina, though, we need to see Cait and Roman. They’ve done more for me than anyone else would have ever considered—even my own parents. They deserve to know what my plans are, and I’m going to give them that respect. Right before I tell them I want to be relinquished from their pack, allowing me to rejoin my old one, should that be an option.

I gave myself twelve years to heal, and I’ve done what I can to move on. The rest will need to be done where it all went wrong. I know the only way to truly get past what happened is to face it head on. At least I know enough about myself to know that’s what I need.

Time clearly hasn’t done shit for me.

We’re stronger than we were back then, my wolf says. We can handle whatever waits for us there. Remind them that leaving didn’t make us weak.

No, it didn’t. Not many wolves could have done what I had, nor could they have survived the soul-deep loneliness that came with not only leaving our home, but with severing ties to our fated mate.

I don’t know that I would have survived without my wolf, and she’s been the only companion I’ve needed in my life…until now. Though, it’s not necessarily companionship I’m seeking by going home. Closure and a fresh start where I should have always been feels more accurate.

If Thane hadn’t shown up, I’m certain I never would have left my pack. But I wouldn’t be the person I am now if he hadn’t, so who the hell knows what might have been.

With a sharp shake of my head, I reach into my back pocket and toss a hundred-dollar bill on the table. It’s more than quadruple the amount to cover my bill, but well-deserved for how damned tasty everything was and the excellent service.

I pluck a few more fries from the plate and give the quarter of leftover burger a longing glance when I stand from the booth.

Food can be my mate, I think to myself and chuckle. I’ve entered into a very committed relationship with all things food, and I have no complaints whatsoever.

Especially fudge brownies with ice cream. That’s my kryptonite. I’ll eat every crumb, even when I’m certain I’ll be sick.

If only the carbs you love could service more than your stomach, my wolf complains with snark.

It’s not as if we’ve been celibate, you little hussy, I retort. It’s only been…

Eleven weeks and four days, she finishes when I take too long to sort out the timeline in my head.

Yes, I was lucky enough to be paired with a badass wolf, but she also has needs I never anticipated. Not to say that I don’t enjoy sex. It’s just…not all that great.

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