Page 27 of The Cowboy Who Looked Again

“Yeah, well.” He didn’t have much more of a defense, and he didn’t need to repeat the pathetic truth of his life.

She drew in a breath, and Link found himself praying for her. Begging the Lord to give her the right words, and asking Him to open Link’s mind and heart to truly hear what Misty needed to tell him.

“I don’t even know where to start,” she said. “So I guess I’ll just babble on until the words dry up.”

Link smiled, but he didn’t let any of it show where she could see it. For this was Serious Misty, and he was just getting to know her.

“I have one brother,” she said. “He’s younger than me, and my daddy left us when I was four and Danny was two. Before I turned ten, my momma had been married three more times.” She spoke without much emotion in her voice, but Link felt the pain streaming from her. He could almost see it bleeding out of her, in great waves of red sand.

“Every man was a nightmare,” she said. “The first one was cruel, and Danny and I never got enough to eat. The second one took all of our money, and we lost our house, because my mom thought he deserved just one more chance.” She scoffed, the bitterness in her voice prevalent.

“The third left when he found out about us, because see, my mother didn’t tell him she had two children until they’d gotten married. I learned that I couldn’t count on anyone, not even my mother.”

“I had no idea,” Link whispered.

“Danny and I stayed in the apartment for eleven days before my mom came back,” Misty said, and she sounded hollow now. Broken. Link lifted his arm and put it around her, drew her close, tried to tell her she was safe here with him.

“See, my mom had gone with Husband Number Three, because she loved him. Claimed he was The One, and he’d come around. He’d come back and take care of all of us. But he didn’t. She came back, but the message had already been delivered. She didn’t want me or Danny. We were a burden to her.”

“Misty, you’re not a burden to anyone.”

“Mm.” She fell silent, and Link didn’t know what to do to fill this quiet. He watched the sunlight glint off the windows on the tall buildings downtown, his eyes adjusting to the light as it continued to fade.

“She changed after that,” Misty said next. “She didn’t take care of us, and I did everything around the house. Lunches, dinner. I did the best I could with Danny, but he turned to drugs and drinking. I couldn’t save him; I could barely keep my own head above water. It was then that I made rules for myself, and they alone kept me from…floating away.”

Link didn’t want to imagine Misty out there in the ether, being pushed this way and that by any whim or wist of wind. “This is when you decided not to date.”

“Yes,” she said. “I vowed I would never, ever be dependent on a man for my happiness, to pay my bills, for anything.”

Link started to feel hollow too, because all he wanted was to make Misty happy, pay for anything she wanted, be the man who would show her that having a partner in life made things easier, not harder.

“I’m real sorry about your mom.”

She curled into his chest. “She’s a hoarder. I haven’t seen her in years. Barely speak to her.” She sniffled and waved her hand in front of her. “And here you are, with family for days, and months, and years, and you talk to all of them. They love you and care about you, and I’ve got your aunts giving me advice on how to get you back.”

She wiped her face, and Link had never seen her cry.

“I want to make this better for you,” he murmured.

“You can’t,” she said.

“Do you think I’m like those men your momma married?”

“No.” She wrapped her arms around him even tighter. “Small towns scare me, Lincoln. I felt so trapped growing up. There was no way out. Absolutely none.”

“You made it out, sweetheart.”

“Danny didn’t. He’s in prison down in the Coastal Bend.”

Link pulled in a deep breath and looked up into the sky. Dear Lord, he thought. I have no idea how to get through this conversation. What do I say here?

I’m sorry sounded so inadequate. It was inadequate.

Misty sat up straight, and Link pulled his arm back. “So you see, I couldn’t have you be a serious boyfriend. It had to just be fun, because the thought of actually letting you see the messed up pieces of my life was too scary.” She glanced over to him but didn’t really look at him.

“I don’t do romances,” she said. “Because I barely have my life together.”

“You’re an incredible woman, Misty,” he said. “You have an amazing and interesting job. You’re a college graduate. A great friend. Your past doesn’t define you.”

---