She rubs her chest again and passes my phone back.
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to get the doctor?’
‘No, don’t bother them. It’s nothing,’ she says.
There’s a rattle by the door as the nurse from earlier takes a food tray from the trolley and brings it into the room. ‘Here you go, Elaine.’ He places her lunch down and helps Mum to sit up.
‘Maybe I’ll go and get something to eat, too,’ I say, leaning down to kiss her forehead. ‘I’ll be back soon. I love you.’
‘Love you too.’ She gives me a quick smile before she focuses on the tray of sandwiches in front of her.
I catch the nurse as he’s heading back to the trolley to fetch Mum a cup of tea. ‘Mum says her chest feels a bit tight. She said it’s probably a cough, but I thought I should mention it. She looked like she was in a bit of pain.’
Concern fills his eyes. ‘Right. Okay. I’ll let the doctor know right away.’
‘Thanks.’
I head downstairs to the hospital café, grab a chicken salad sandwich and a coffee, then head outside to sit in the spring sunshine. I take a bite and open Instagram, automatically going to Casey’s profile. The last photo is still of her and Jaz on a night out the week before we met in Berlin. I click on the list of people who’ve liked it and scroll, looking for a name. And there it is – Eva Rossi. I’ve told myself I’m not interested in what she’s about, but I can’t shift her and Casey’s relationship from my mind.
I click Eva’s profile, my eyes widening when I see her follower count. Her latest post is from yesterday – a reel talking about evening eye make-up and fluttering her lids to show off a glittery golden olive eyeshadow. I scroll her timeline and find a post from the weekend Casey and I were in Berlin – it’s Eva with the wedding planner. What were Casey and I doing at that very moment? My face warms as I picture us in her gallery, looking at a painting of a naked woman, having sex while her fiancée was in another country planning a wedding.
I grunt my disgust, toss my sandwich in the bin and head back into the hospital.
When I step out of the elevator, nurses rush past me, shouting medical terms to one another. I head to Mum’s ward, but a nurse stops me.
‘Holly, I’m sorry, but you can’t go in,’ she says.
‘Why not? Has something happened?’
‘The doctor’s with your mum,’ the nurse says. ‘We’ll need you to wait out here.’
My pulse spikes. ‘Mum said her chest was tight. Is that it?’
‘We’ll be with you soon,’ she says, her expression grave, then disappears into Mum’s room.
I stand in the middle of the corridor helplessly staring at the closed door, my vision growing blurry. A hand grips my elbow and guides me to a waiting lounge, where a staff member sits me down and makes me tea.
‘Holly,’ she says, placing a mug in front of me on the coffee table. ‘Do you want to call your brother?’
I stare at her while I process the question and then grab my phone, my fingers trembling as I hit Adam’s number.
‘Hey, Hols. What’s up?’ Adam’s voice is raised over construction in the background.
‘It’s Mum.’
‘Hang on…’ The background noise becomes muted. ‘Mum, did you say?’
‘Something’s happened,’ I say in a panicked voice. ‘They’re in her room and they won’t let me in.’ My eyes fill. ‘She was fine, Adam. I just went to get some lunch and when I came back everything had changed.’
‘You’re still at the hospital?’
‘Yes.’
‘On my way.’
He hangs up and I’m alone again. I go back out into the corridor, but the door to Mum’s room is still closed. I press my ear against it, try to listen, but the same nurse catches me and leads me back to the waiting room.
‘The doctor will come and speak to you as soon as he can,’ she says.