Page 83 of Meet Me in Berlin

She jumps up and starts pacing. ‘Have you any idea how much my wedding dress cost? It’s a Phillipa Lepley!’ she screeches. ‘I look fucking amazing in it!’

‘I don’t know what else to say to you, Eva.’

‘So, we’re not even going to try and work this out? You’re just going to leave this’ – she gestures up and down her body, followed by a wave around the flat – ‘and this, for a woman you’ve just met?’

‘She’s not the reason I’m leaving. I’d be doing this anyway.’

‘Sure you would,’ she scoffs, then places her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes at me. ‘I don’t get it. How on earth could you meet someone on a work trip and become so enamoured with her that you’re already telling me about her?’

I bounce my leg and look away. ‘We … we already know each other.’

‘Oh, this was planned? You went there to meet her?’

‘No. It wasn’t like that.’

‘Then what was it like, Casey? Tell me!’

I stand. ‘It doesn’t matter. This isn’t about Holly. It’s about us, and me not wanting to be in this relationship any longer. It’s a really, really shitty thing to do, and I wish I’d worked it out sooner.’ I point to the bedroom. ‘I’m going to get some of my stuff, and I’m going to stay with Jaz.’ I stride out of the sitting room towards the bedroom. I know I owe her a better explanation, but if I stay she’ll grind me down and I need to protect myself, and Holly.

Eva scurries after me. ‘Did it occur to you that you didn’t do this sooner because you love me?’

‘Of course I love you, Eva. I wouldn’t have been with you if I didn’t love you. But it’s not the right kind of love anymore.’ I take a travel bag from the top of the wardrobe and throw in some underwear.

‘Then why did you say yes to marrying me?’

‘Because…’ I stop myself. ‘Because I did.’

‘You hesitated. Go on. Why?’

I throw in some T-shirts. ‘Because you asked me at our housewarming and you fucking live streamed it. I didn’t want to hurt you by saying no in front of everyone, okay?’

She gasps and her eyes well with tears.

I give a remorseful groan. ‘See, that’s why I didn’t want to say.’

‘That’s the only reason?’ she asks softly. ‘Why didn’t you say afterwards?’

I drag my hands over my face. ‘No. It’s not the only reason. Maybe at first, but I loved you and I wanted to be with you. Getting married was important to you, and I got carried away with it. By the time I worked out there might be an issue, we were too far in.’

She grabs my arm. ‘Please don’t do this. We can postpone the wedding.’

‘I tried to postpone before I went to Berlin. You threw a tantrum.’ I shake my head. ‘Besides, I don’t want…’ I gesture between us. ‘I don’t want this.’

‘Okay, so you had a fling; we can work that out.’ She wraps her arms around my waist.

‘Please don’t, Eva. I feel bad enough.’ I peel her off and walk away to grab some work clothes.

‘So I get no say in this?’

I zip up my bag. ‘No say? You can’t force me to be in a relationship with you.’

Her face hardens again. ‘Have you any idea what you’re giving up? You’ve done all right for yourself being with me. The working-class girl from East London who done good, yeah?’ she says, mimicking my accent.

I curl my lip in disgust. ‘You’re a fucking classist cow. And you’ve just made me feel much better about dumping you.’ I throw the bag over my shoulder, storm down the hall and grab the handle of my suitcase. ‘I’ll be in touch to get the rest of my stuff.’ I gesture to the walls. ‘And don’t think you’re keeping any of my art either.’

‘And don’t think you’re getting your ring back!’ she screams.

I slam the door behind me. My pulse is racing and my skin burns from the anger coursing through me. I wave down a black cab, give the gallery address and don’t look back.

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