Page 66 of Meet Me in Berlin

‘Well, we didn’t get around to talking much after dinner last night. Any ex drama you want to tell me about?’

I quickly look away, rubbing the back of my neck.

‘Casey?’

Tell her. I take a deep breath and shift in my seat so that I’m facing her, ready to tell the truth. She watches me, her eyes wide, and underneath that bravery and determination, there’s something so fragile, something just a little bit broken. Like a drinking glass with a tiny chip – you’re not sure if it can cope with more use, or if one more knock will turn the chip into a crack. I can’t do it. I can’t destroy this moment when she looks so vulnerable and hopeful all at once. Not today. ‘Nothing I want to tell you about.’

Her shoulders drop and she beams, her face bright and full of possibilities. I snap a mental image for the future, knowing that whatever happens, then at least on this day I didn’t break her again.

She holds up her phone. ‘You know what? I’ve been nice enough to Tom now. He needs to deal with it. I don’t want him to ruin our day.’ Her fingers fly across the screen, ending in a jab. Then she throws it into her bag. ‘There. Sorry about that.’

I hang my head, shamefaced. ‘No problem.’

‘I want to get some good shots today.’ She pulls out her camera. ‘I might post a couple on Insta.’

My head snaps up. I was so caught up in us I forgot about social media. I point behind me. ‘Just need the bathroom, then we’ll go, yeah?’

‘Sure. No hurry.’

I rush through the busy café to the toilets, lock myself in a cubicle, dig my headphones out of my bag and FaceTime Jaz.

After four rings, she answers with a yawn. ‘Hiya.’ She’s still in her pyjamas, curls popping in all directions. ‘Glad you’re still alive.’

‘I’m alive. I’m very alive. And I’ve fucked up.’

‘Already? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.’

‘It’s just been this whirlwind night, and we hardly spoke before we?—’

Jaz snorts. ‘Fucking hell, Case, you work faster than me.’

‘This is different. It was so … intense. We had dinner, and our past love lives didn’t come up, then I went to tell her about Eva, seriously, it was right there, and next thing she’s kissing me, and … well … you know what happens next.’

‘Mate, what is it with you being pussy-whipped? Are you incapable of speaking when you’re about to get some?’

‘It’s a bit of a weakness, I guess.’

She rolls her eyes and swigs from a mug.

I continue. ‘Holly just told me about her ex and asked if I had anything to tell her, and I kind of said no,’ I say through a wince.

Jaz gapes at me.

‘I went to, but she looked so broken, man. You should’ve seen her face. She’s so beautiful, yeah, and her eyes were all sad, and?—’

‘Oh, wow,’ Jaz says, hand up to stop me talking. ‘You have well and truly fucked this up already, girl.’

I groan. ‘But we had the most brilliant night and this brilliant morning, and I didn’t want to ruin it and break her all over again.’

‘You still haven’t broke it off with Eva. She’s been on Insta with the wedding planner, bangin’ on about the chef.’

I grimace. ‘Holly just mentioned posting on Insta and now I’m paranoid she’ll somehow come across Eva before I’ve had a chance?—’

‘Look. I get it,’ Jaz says, ignoring me. ‘You’ve lived in the fantasy of what-if for years, and you’ve just found each other again. You’re caught up in the romance of it all. But this bubble ain’t reality, mate. And Eva’s planning a wedding – a fucking wedding. You need to end it quickly. And if things continue with Holly, which I really hope they do for both your sakes, you think she’s not going to find out? Enjoy your day, but tell both of them over the weekend at least.’ Her eyes are filled with concern, and I don’t want to let her down.

‘Okay. I will.’ An incoming call flashes on my screen. ‘Fuck, Eva’s calling me now.’

‘You might want to take that.’ Jaz wiggles her fingers at me. ‘Later, lover girl.’

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