Page 42 of Meet Me in Berlin

‘So, Tom just got up from the table and walked off?’ Nat asks. ‘Didn’t do the dishes or anything?’

‘He rinsed his plate and a few other things and stuck them in the dishwasher, but that’s what he always does.’ I instantly feel bad for dissing him and back-pedal. ‘I shouldn’t have let it happen. I haven’t raised things with him because of his long workdays, especially the past few months when I’ve had it so easy at work. I should’ve told him how I was feeling. He would’ve helped me.’

Nat scoffs. ‘He has eyes. He can see that you’re rushing around doing stuff all the time. Why is it up to you to tell him?’ Nat gently pulls the spoon from Archie’s mouth and smiles at him as he opens his mouth for the next bite.

‘He doesn’t mean it; he just doesn’t think sometimes,’ I say.

She gives me a look, her mouth a tight line. ‘I hope he hasn’t invited himself along on your trip.’

I prop my phone against a couple of pillows and fold T-shirts into my case. ‘Um…’

Nat winces. ‘You haven’t told him?’

I mimic her wince. ‘I couldn’t do it last night, and you know what would happen if I told him this morning. I’d get Mr Sensible talking me out of it. I have to do this.’

‘I get it, but you might want to tell him before you hop on the plane,’ she says gently.

‘I’ll tell him when he gets home from work because…’ I clear my throat. ‘I’m leaving tomorrow.’

‘Tomorrow!’

I release a short, nervous breath. ‘Yep. I’ll stay at Adam’s tonight.’

Her eyes well. ‘I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.’

‘Oh, Nat, please don’t cry. I didn’t either. But what am I staying here for? The longer I stay, the unhappier I’ll be.’

She nods and leans across the table for a tissue, Archie gazing at her as she dabs the corner of her eye. ‘You have to go. I’ll run you to the airport if Adam or Meg can’t do it.’

I shake my head. ‘You don’t have to do that.’

‘I do. What time’s your flight?’

‘One.’

She smiles through her tears. ‘Okay, brunch at the airport it is, then.’ She tickles Archie under the chin, making him gurgle. ‘You want to take Aunty Holly to the airport tomorrow?’

‘Thank you,’ I say. ‘I’d better get this packing done. Then I need to visit Mum and do a million other things. I’ll call you tonight when I’m at Adam’s.’ A wave of nausea rolls through me. ‘Ooh.’

‘Are you okay?’

‘The reality of this just hits me every now and then.’ I look furtively at the bedroom door, half expecting Tom to walk in any minute. ‘I’m dreading the convo with Tom.’

Concern creases Nat’s face. ‘You want me to be there with you?’

I give a grateful smile. ‘I’d love that, but I need to be an adult and do this on my own.’

She holds her hand up in a wave. ‘Good luck.’

I spend another half hour packing and race down to the local cheap shop for storage bags. Once they’re filled with my heavy winter clothes and some other belongings, I lug them to the car to drop at Adam’s on the way to visit Mum.

Mum’s sitting on a bench partly shaded by an elm tree when I arrive. Her eyes are closed, and the sunshine that peeks through the leaves highlights the soft creases in her skin. The temperature is a few degrees above average today, but it’s still cold and fresh, and she’s dressed warmly in grey woollen pants and the pastel pink jumper I gave her for Mother’s Day. She looks so serene that I can’t stop myself snapping a photo on my phone.

‘Hi, Mum,’ I say, sitting beside her.

Her eyes open slowly, and she stares at me a moment before she breaks into a smile. ‘Hello…’ She pats my thigh, mouth open, waiting for her brain to catch up. ‘Erm, hello … Holly. Yes, it’s Holly.’

I beam at her. ‘That’s right!’

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