Page 19 of Meet Me in Berlin

‘For fuck’s sake, man,’ Jaz says, fists on hips. ‘Eva is sucking the life out of you.’ She prods my chest. ‘You get to your ma and da’s this weekend and get some bad fucking language back in that vocab, yeah?’ She pushes me towards the bar entrance. ‘Now stop being a posh cunt and get your round in.’

I laugh, fling my arm around her neck and kiss her temple. ‘Oh, Jazzy. What would I do without you keeping me real?’

‘Get off,’ she says, cackling. ‘I’m not going to pull with you hanging off me.’

Inside it’s busy and dark. We push through to the bar and I raise my voice to be heard over the music. ‘A pint of pale ale and…’ I turn to Jaz. ‘What do you want?’

‘A glass of white wine.’ She steps onto the footrest and leans over the bar. ‘Make it an Australian wine.’ She gives me some side-eye. ‘I’m in the mood for a bit of Australian.’

The barperson tends to our drinks and I narrow my eyes at Jaz. ‘Give it a rest.’

Jaz smirks and moves her hips to the music, scanning the crowd. ‘Oh yeah, I’m definitely finding my soul mate in here. I’ve got a big night feeling.’ She looks down at my feet. ‘I hope you’ve got your dancin’ shoes on.’

My limbs start to loosen, the week’s stress dissolving, the beat of the music working in rhythm with my body. ‘I have, mate. I have.’

For the next couple of hours, we dance, talk shite, drink and flirt – with other people, not each other. Jaz takes her flirting to the next level, but I keep mine light, innocent and fun.

I’m chatting to a couple when Jaz detaches herself from the woman she’s snogging and yells in my ear, ‘Toilets’. She grabs my hand and drags me to the bathroom, where she pulls me into a cubicle and slides the lock across.

I glance at the lock and then at her. ‘No, Jazzy. No.’

She reaches into her bra, pulls out a small plastic sleeve and waves it. ‘Go on,’ she whispers. ‘Just a little bit.’

‘We’re too old for that shit, and I’ll feel like crap tomorrow.’

‘Too old? What are you on? We’re thirty-one, and it’s my birthday.’

‘It was your birthday three weeks ago.’

‘Yeah, and this is left over from my birthday, innit? You weren’t too old then to get stuck into it. Besides, this is quality – no drug hangover.’

I grimace. ‘I’ve got things to do this weekend.’

Jaz reaches into her bag and pulls out a tiny compact mirror and a ten-pound note. ‘Like what? More wedding stuff? Eva’s family stuff?’

‘I’ve got to find a wedding outfit, remember?’

‘For fuck’s sake, Casey. Again, she’s sucking the life out of you.’

‘Not wanting to snort coke in a toilet cubicle in a Soho bar hardly means Eva’s sucking the life out of me.’

Jaz grins. ‘You know what I mean.’ She opens the compact, places it on the cistern and sprinkles on the white powder. Using a credit card, she separates the small mound into two fat lines.

I gaze at it longingly. It has been a hell of a week. I deserve to relax and to forget about weddings and work and Berlin romances from years ago.

Jaz offers the rolled-up tenner and raises a questioning brow.

‘Go on, then,’ I say, taking it. ‘One line and that’s it. Maybe two.’

I step around to the other side of the toilet and bend over the cistern. Closing one nostril, I hold the tenner to the other and run it along the line, quickly inhaling. The chemical taste hits the back of my throat within seconds. I pass the note to Jaz, who turns it around and does the same. She cuts another two lines, which we quickly snort before dabbing our fingers on the mirror for every last grain to rub along our gums.

‘Just takes the edge off,’ Jaz says.

‘Totally,’ I say. A gentle buzz floats through my body and I’m already looking forward to it peaking and more later.

We head back to the bar where Jazzy orders us rum with orange, and we push our way through the crowd until we’re in the middle of the dancefloor. My rush is heightened by the drum and bass pulsing through me. I close my eyes and let myself go.

I have no idea how long I’m dancing alone, because by the time I open my eyes, I’m off to the side, Jaz is sexy dancing with the woman she was snogging earlier, and a pretty blonde is headed straight for me. I neck my rum and place the empty glass on the narrow ledge just in time for her to thrust a glass at me. I take a sip. It’s rum and orange and I lift my brows in surprise.

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