Page 114 of Meet Me in Berlin

‘How are you?’ I ask, pouring her wine. ‘Other than Archie being sick.’

She takes a sip and nods. ‘Busy. Always busy.’ She frowns and pats my knee. ‘But that’s not important. How are you? You sounded pretty down during the week.’

My mouth twists into what I hope is a smile and I give an overly enthusiastic nod. ‘I’m fine.’

She tilts her head. ‘Really?’

I fiddle with the stem of my glass. ‘Ah, you know. Getting there.’

Nat is silent for a beat, then says, ‘With what?’

I look up, confused. ‘Sorry?’

‘Getting there with what?’ she says gently. ‘Because I feel like you’re really struggling, Hols.’

I swallow back the burn in my throat. ‘I’ve been busy this week, helping out with the kids, cooking meals, sorted out everything with the real estate. I’ve talked to a grief counsellor. Even applied for some jobs.’

‘Okay. That’s good.’ She hesitates. ‘Have you contacted Casey? Replied to her last message?’

I shake my head. ‘Deleted it.’

She raises her brows. ‘You don’t even want to try talking to her again?’

‘It was torture to see it on my phone every day, okay?’

Nat’s mouth pulls downward and her eyes narrow – the way she always looks at me when she’s contemplating whether or not to give her opinion. ‘You’re torturing yourself.’

‘That’s because talking to her, seeing her face, it’s too much,’ I say.

‘Remind me again why you’re not going to try and figure this out when you’re both single and you have no reason to be here?’

Nat got the whole sorry story when I arrived home, but with losing Mum, we haven’t delved too much into the Casey situation. ‘Because she was sleeping with me in one city while her fiancée was planning a wedding in another!’

Nat nods. ‘Ah, that’s right. A fiancée she told you she was planning to break it off with before she met you again.’

‘Well, that’s what she told me. Anyway, that’s not the point. We were together for days, literally stuck together, and she didn’t tell me about her.’

‘Maybe it’s not that straightforward?’

I roll my eyes. ‘It’s not hard. Just say it. Geez, what’s with everyone being Team Casey?’

She laughs. ‘I’m not Team Casey. I’m team “I want to see you happy”. Look at it this way. What if you hadn’t split with Tom before you went away?—’

‘But I did?—’

Nat holds up a hand. ‘What if you hadn’t? You just went for a holiday on your own, and you met her. You were all swept up in the romance of it, went for dinner and went home together. Would you have told her about Tom?’

‘Yes.’

Nat raises a questioning brow. ‘Before you slept with her or after?’

I purse my lips. ‘After, maybe.’

‘Okay, and how long before you would’ve told Tom?’

I shoot her a look. ‘Did you just come here to grill me? Did Adam put you up to this?’

‘Answer the question.’

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